Wayne Rooney is an ugly troll

So clearly I have a problem. An addiction if you will. It started innocently enough, like these things always do. A game with my dad. Then another. But things were under control. It was only a weekend thing. Then the worldcup hit. And suddenly I was watching 3 games a day. Watching games that I had no reason to be watching (Tunisia vs Saudia Arabia anyone?) Not just passively watching the games mind you, but seriously interested and invested in the outcome. I knew myself well enough to know that I needed to kick this habit and return to my normal life. During the Argentina vs Netherlands match I went to go see Nacho Libre. But I spent most of the movie txt messaging various people to make sure I didn't miss anything. But even then things were still under control.

Ok so not really. About 80% of my conversations now are about the world cup. Its pretty much all that I talk about with my daddy. Gone are the days when we bitched about politics. Now we talk strategy, bitch about refs, and make predictions about future games. So far so good. We've called the Argentinian, German, and Portugal win. If it wasn't for those dirty stupid brits the much better and much more awesome Ecuadorian team would have also gone through.

Thankfully those awful brits will get a taste of their own medicine when they play against Portugal. Wayne Rooney and his ugly mug are going down.

/crazed soccer rant

Now the real problem though is that tomorrow I rejoin the working world. And will no longer be able to watch the games live. So tomorrow will be the real test of my ability to get a handle on this little vice.

Okay and now links!:

* This was totally made for me. Its at once cute and just a wee bit disturbing.


* Brent noticed that the french teams jersey's have a little colar on them which started a discussion on uniforms. Google came to the rescue once again and brought me this.

* The Urban Etiquette guide. Best. Thing. Ever. How do you politely handle a one night stand? This and other highly important questions are answered. So go read it right now.

* 100 awesome music videos. The title says it all.

* Ask a ninja explains net neutrality.

* Oh and my curiosity? Totally another addiction. A delicious delicious addiction.

tequila makes her clothes fall off

Having your very best friends on opposite sides of the continental US makes a girl sad. Impossibly sad on even the sunniest days. The whole idea of best friends is pretty laughable, and I use the term simultaneously as irony and truth. The idea rings back to a time long since past when who your best friend was changed by the week, dependent on which way the wind was blowing, and who had the best type of pudding at lunch. My best friend for ten something years was always the same person until there was a falling out, well I fell out, she stayed the same. But I like so few people and I'm so very fickle that these two who currently are my very best friends, really are my very best friends. They're stuck deep in my pit. And if I ever ponder for too long the reality of their absence in my life I want to just pack my bags and pick a coast just so at least I could be close to one of them.

Alas though, its not meant to be right now. Which sucks. An impossible amount. Because navigating time zones and work schedules and significant others makes the distance real. And reality and me aren't friends right now.

Technology makes everything better though. And I know I can always call and harass. But I miss being able to walk across the hall and walk into an unlocked room and steal some doritos and drink some rum and bitch about the day.

Essentially I miss college. In a way I never thought I would. I don't miss the papers or the classes or the books or the boondocks or the smell of manure. I don't miss any of those things. I miss skipping class to gossip on the hill and take in the sun. I miss the drive to Boston, and the singing and talking and daydreaming that killed the hour and made the traffic worthwhile. I miss having someone that made an hour and half drive in the middle of the night seem like a brilliant idea.

So yea that's where I am. Best friends on opposite sides of the country. No boy to daydream about. No escape. Just me and reality.

This growing up stuff, it stinks.

puffy hair = sad jes

So its been raining for the last 4 something days. Lots of rain. Enough rain that its the first thing everyone talks about. Enough rain that Houston was on the front page of the nytimes (at least the online edition, I don't read the newspaper edition). Fortunately I love rain. Its my favorite weather condition. I like the way the air smells during a thunderstorm. The sound of giant raindrops hitting my window. The way my car slides around a little bit and I have zero visibility and suddenly driving to the grocery store requires more brain cells than it typically does. All of it is good.

Except for the humidity. Which is already bad in Houston. Bad enough that if you've never been in Houston during the summer or really at any point during the year you have no idea what humidity is actually like. In Erie I had finally figured out the perfect combination of products and the exact order in which to put them in to get my hair to perfectly curl. Now that I'm back in Houston my hair refuses to play along. With all the rain its pretty much impossible to get it to not puff up.

So I'm seriously considering chopping it all off and doing some cute pixie thing just so I don't have to go all Bill Nye on my hair to get it to behave again. Only problem is that there's always that awful stage when your hair is growing out where no matter what you do its just angry. So basically I don't know what I'm doing with my hair and I just wasted a good couple of minutes of your life talking to you about it. Sorry about that.

Ok here are the links, there are a ton of them so try to keep up:

* Pretty much everyday I go to the park and eat lunch with my daddy. Because its fun and I'm a dork, get over it. Anyways there are always a ton of ants trying to eat me alive and with all the rain I started to wonder what ants do exactly when it starts to rain. My daddy and I theorized some stuff until I got curious enough to just google it and get this answer. Which was good and all but when google just wont cut it there's this old school solution.

* This is just creepy. via apartmenttherapy

* I love men that smell good. After 4 years being away from men at moho, my sense of smell is hyperdeveloped. Meaning that in a room full of women I could tell when I man entered the room first by smell and then by sight. So this new commercial with Nick Lachey amuses me greatly.

* "Gay Until Penetration" awesome article from the villagevoice.

* Another funny colbert video.

* How to make your own ac take 2.

* A great but long interview with Damon Dash.

* Victoria Beckham aka "Posh" is the scariest woman alive. Can we talk about her breasts for a moment though? What exactly is going on there? If you know please let me know. Oh this woman gives me the creeps too. Mostly because no mother of 4 should look like this. Its unnatural.

* I'm all about the sexy nerd look. that's all I 'm willing to share about that.

* I couldn't finish a crossword puzzle to save my life. Which is weird because I love logic puzzles and I love words. For some reason though I can never figure out the clues. So I cheat. Its wrong and it makes me feel dirty, but it gets the job done. I'm more of a suduko type of girl, even still I found this article/interview with the guy who makes the crosswords for the nytimes super entertaining.

* When soccer players yell at the refs what language are they speaking in? Slate answers this pressing question.

Young and restless and bored*

There was a hoochie contest at the club Friday night. A veiled "model search" that was really just a way to discovered the hoochiest of the hoochie. The club is 21 and up though and the majority of these professional hoochies were under 21, so their parents were there. You have no idea how disconcerting it is to be at your normal spot and look around and see a bunch of 50 year olds drinking bud light. Just so you know this isn't the type of place were you drink bud light. So even at the very beginning of the night, the entire vibe was odd.

So lets ignore for a moment the complete absurdity of taking your 19 year old daughter out to a club to let her prance around in a micro skirt and a g string in front of a group of drunken strangers while you stand back and clap and drink your bud light and focus instead on these young women instead. First of all they all looked way older than me, which doesn't really take much because I'm really more of a mascara and lip gloss kind of girl. I'm constantly being told that I look much younger than I am, which is fine because I figure that when I'm 78 I'll be the one who comes out ahead.

Anyways, so one of these girls asks my friend to buy her a drink. She's totally up front that its all she wants from him and he's cool with it because she's hot enough. Now the bartender whose a good friend of his (because he's there three times a week) tells him he's only going to make him the drink if its for him and since we're all pleasantly tossed at that point we don't get what he's talking about. So my friend gives her the drink and the bartender gets pissed and drama ensues because the girl isn't 21. Now to his credit even I had no idea she wasn't 21 because honestly I never looked at her face. She was all breasts. So if I didn't look at her face, there's no way he ever stopped to look at her face.

Now the other thing is she was hot and a lot of these girls were hot only because they weren't wearing any clothes. When your walking around in some shiny cloth and some tape its very easy to be considered hot. Much harder is being attractive when your actually wearing some clothes. The moment you stopped staring at their totally bought and paid for matel breasts and looked at their faces, it was total disappointment. Which is sad because even if your going to be a hooch you might as well be a pretty hooch. But maybe you go into hoochy-doom because your more of a Monet than a Cezanne.

Either way it was amusing enough to watch them prance around. Endlessly more amusing though was the swimsuit portion when they all started walking around the club in their bikinis. Now I think it must take some incredibly large balls to be able to walk around a club where everyone else is totally dressed and you're pretty much naked. Now technically they were "clothed" but honestly if you'd seen these bikinis you would have realized that it was only a mere technicality. A technicality that was necessary because it would have been totally disconcerting if they had actually been walking around butt naked.

And yea that was my night. That and some babysitting followed by some delicious buttermilk pancakes. The end.


*I'm currently obsessed with Bob Seager and I'm not quite sure how that happened. Anyways the title comes from his "night moves" an awesome awesome song.

aint no other man*

I'm not the most patient person in the world. And me saying that right now is the understandment of the year. Its something that I'm trying to work on, yet find it impossibly amusing. Like one of those quirks about me that are impossibly annoying and yet just a little bit endearing. Well at least to myself. It annoys the hell out of other people. In the four billion years Andy and I were dating I don't think he ever once managed to give me a gift before my figuring out what was inside. Because I don't like waiting until I unwrap something to know what's inside. I like to know now.

So waiting to get hear back after my interview was excruciating. I made it worse though by really doing nothing but waiting. And checking my email obsessively. Until finally I heard something. They want me to come in for a second interview. Which would be just a good thing if I wasn't so patient-ly challenged. Thankfully the interview is tomorrow, and I wont die waiting until then. So after that we'll see what happens.

ok now links:

* the title comes from christina aguilera's new single which is really catchy

* Not the hottest looking site, but it provides interesting and relevant information on average salaries for different jobs.

* You should go read this post by my bro. Its amusing.

* If you enjoy watching cars crash into each other this video is for you.

* A cool little calculator lets you know how much your saving over time by making your own lunch instead of eating out every day. via lifehacker

* My love for meat is apparently inherited from my folks. Well that and its just so yummy.

* Are you lacking cuteness in your life? This video should cure you of that.

* Yesterday the most exciting game by far was the Saudia Arabia vs Tunisia match. In games like these though sometimes I don't know who to root for, so I root for whichever country is more of an underdog. If your politically inclined there's this handy guide that lets you know who you should root for. Oh and if you're like me and love soccer and fashion there's this article from the nytimes.

* Remember when I was traveling and was attacked by that creepy machine thing? No, well heres a picture of it.

white chocolate flavor

Umm I have nothing to say today. Odd. I'm just obsessively checking my email waiting for some folks to get back to me. That and watching bad tv while I still can. I'm doing some vaguely productive stuff though like looking for a cute little apartment. But I don't consider that real productivity since I'm not calling places up and setting up appointments just yet. Mostly because until I sign something I wont actually believe that I'm staying in Houston.

and yea that's all I've got.

Ok here's a handfull of links:

* Today the Us played the Czechs and they sucked. Sucked so much I don't even wanna talk about it, I just want to pretend it didn't happen. So that's what I'm going to do. Instead I'm going to point you over to this clip of Colbert telling folks that their goal should be to ignore soccer. Clearly he's just being funny, but far scarier is having that exact same argument used for real. Seriously arguing that Americans don't like soccer because they're more evolved and like sports where people use their hands, is just an ignorant argument. Americans more evolved than the rest of the world? Somehow I doubt that.

* Here's an interesting and thoughtful article on why Brazilian soccer stars go by one name.

* A duh article from the nytimes on how stuff you do online can keep you from getting a job.

* Good solid advice for recent grads and young adults alike.

* A great article on how to avoid all the junk they sell in supermarkets.

* And finally something too cute! and something a bit creepy.

* Oh and this shirt was totally made for me:



Its pink and funny mean. Just like me.

el numero ocho

Okay so I'm sorry but I'm going to have to inflict this on you. I know you don't like Paris Hilton anymore than I do, and that out of sheer curiosity you listened to her song the other day, and that watching the video is something you don't really want to do. But you must. Because its so tragically funny that you need to watch it.

I must warm you though that the more you listen to her song the further into your brain it goes, until you find yourself losing perspective and not hating it. I know its shameful to admit, but someone must be brave and shed all of their pride and just say it. So I'll say it. I don't hate her song.

man I feel dirty.

But the thing is I think this is really not a reflection of me but a reflection of how bad pop music is these days. Given the choice between Ashlee Simpson and her new nose and Paris Hilton, well that's not really much of a choice is it? I'm going to argue that the lesser evil is Paris Hilton, because this isn't her "career" not really. Unlike Ashlee Simpson who really thinks she can sing, Paris knows what she's good at. Which is nothing. Which is why she spends so much money to make herself sound good. And she spends "her own" money on it, which is better than wasting someone else's money on making you sound good.

The video though. The video is tragic. She's trying so hard to be sexy. So hard to seduce and it just doesn't work. Which is particularly sad because she's devoted her life to going out and dancing and to watch her dance in the video I feel sad for her and her lack of dancing ability. Calling what she does in the video "dancing" is a stretch. Although I once watched a contemporary dance production where the dancing consisted of 5 women walking from one side of the stage to the other. So maybe this is avant garde and I just don't get it.

So yea. good times.

links!:

* World cup started today! For those of you that don't know even the most basic rules there's this. Plus beefy pictures of soccer stars. Always a plus.

* In praise of boxer briefs. I once knew a man who went commando and it was the most disturbing thing. Same goes for briefs. When it comes to male underwear there's really just one sane choice.

* This game is at once addicting and disturbing. Plus there are kittens and you can never have too many kittens in your life. Thanks to lasu for bringing it into my life.

* A nice essay on basic digital photography. via lifehacker

* Also from lifehacker, comes cooking for engineers, a cooking guide for those with impossibly analytical minds. andy I'm looking at you.

* How to stay in good shape while partying like a rockstar.

* Cool interview with William H. Macy.

* This little clip once again shows why I <3 Jon Stewart so.

* I love knowing odd stuff about people. Like what they carry in their bags. What they have in their fridge. Or their car. Or in their wallets. Some people describe this as being nosy. I like to think of this as just being insatiably curious. Which is a good thing.

* The cervical cancer vaccine has been approved. Which is good news, but now comes the real battle when the committee determines who will have access to the vaccine. via feministing which provides some great analysis of why its not time to celebrate just yet.

maneater

Dear Internets,

I have an interview. For tomorrow. With a nonprofit. Doing what I actually want to do. And they found me I didn't even directly apply.

Today has totally redeemed itself.

And since blogger has stopped being obnoxious I can share with you all these links:

* Al Gore likes to bum people out. We all know this. Now though you can personally see how much of the problem you are by going here and determining your impact on the Earth.

* Sometimes I come across something and I'm reminded of how naive I really am. This is one of those times. Did you know that the US will grant citizenship to known torturers? Cause I sure didn't. Because clearly I've been living in la-la land and thought that there was some sort of system to determine if people were qualified to live in the US.

* An incredible op-ed that brings a totally different perspective to the whole Plan B debate (ie not making it available over the counter because the Bush administration is full of tools). If there's only one thing your going to read today that's going to use your brain, this should be it. via feministing.

* So I listened to the Paris Hilton song. Clearly anyone can be made to sound good using the wonder that is technology. I just wish the wonder that is technology was being used on something a billion times more beneficial to humanity than Paris Hilton. Just so you know this is a direct link to her song, so its going to start loading immediately. I'm just letting you know so you can keep your shame of listening to it away from your coworkers.

* Shiloh Jolie-Pitt is the messiah. And now you can ask her questions.

* So cute!

* Umm. Don't open this around people. And I got it from Lasu. And honestly I don't wanna know how he came across it. I just know you need to see it.

* The symmetry thesis is simple:

A given person likes (loves) you as much as you like (love) him or her

I think its bs and yet strangely true all at the same time.

* National Geographic has a lovely series of essays of why soccer rules the world.

running just as fast as you can

It seems that 80% of the work that I did during college is now lost. A couple of months ago I switched from my desktop to my brand new itty bitty laptop. I assumed that I had moved all of my files, but I was being pretty lazy about the whole thing because well I was in Erie and I was being pretty lazy about life. So today when I was searching through my files it suddenly hit me that I'd only moved over some of my women's studies stuff. But the majority of my work, all those italian papers I wrote, all that umass stuff, all of my economics stuff was gone. Not anywhere on my laptop. Strangely I feel kinda okay about the whole thing. Its not like I read any of that stuff after I turned it in. At the same time though I kinda need it for writing samples. And you know to have something beyond a tiny diploma to show for 4 years of saturday nights spent at the library.

Andys going to look over the computer in Erie and see if miraculously any of the files are still there. I doubt it though. I left in a rush and I distinctly remember telling him to just delete everything. I do have hard copies of stuff. Well some stuff, not all of it. Yet another reminder to back absolutely everything up.

okay its link time:

* Okay this video is great for about a billion reasons. I'll just give you the top three: 1) its maradona 2) the song is impossibly happy and 3) his shorts are so tiny they'll make you giggle just a bit.

* This video makes it possible for me to inflict mattress mack on the rest of the world. Actually mtv did that, I'm just passing the link along.

* The number of people that you've had sex with is a number that isnt easily disclosed. Unless your bragging or talking to someone your close to, it really isnt something people like to talk about. There's too much judgment. Both good and bad. A more interesting number would be how many people you wished you'd slept with. Or the number of times you've had sex. Or number of times you had sex but would have rather been watching some bad tv instead. This article from the village voice talks about the dreaded number and why we shouldnt pay so much attention to it at all.