I'm starting to associate college, as roughing it. I have to take showers, and I personally dont care for showers. I like to take like 2 hr long baths. That's not an option here. Well it is but I'm not putting my body into the pertri dish that is the communal bath tub.::gross::anyway, I'm really looking foward to being able to clean the bottom of my feet really well, bc in a little shower, its really hard to shave let alone reach the bottom of my feet and be able to hold my balance for long enough to clean them as well as I'd like to.

did i mention the boy is coming?

more cheerleading notes: I at one point during practice had like 4 ppl gathered around my ass like sitting and grabbing it. Odd feeling. Becka one of the girls on the team is like "I get more tits and ass on team than anywhere else." Its so true. We were doing these really cool thingies where like 2 people were holding my legs and one person had the honor of holding my ass. Actually no, grabbing it. yup. and then they lift me up from a sitting possition, and extend me over their heads. But the 1st time we did it like for some reason the ppl holding my legs moved apart, and like my legs were being streached open for me. Not a pleasant feeling. I made the mistake of saying something about how its an unpleasant feeling, and my coach was like: yea, she doesnt like her ass grabbed while her legs are being streched open at the same time. yup....gotta love cheerleading.

right so, ur asking urself, why hasnt Jes posted more funny things about cheerleading?

respose: Jes is damn tired when she comes back from practice, and its hard to be witty when ur body just wants to lie on the floor.
But yea, thrus. night at practice, all we did were stunts. which if u've been following along, is the only thing I'm actually good at. yea the only thing. Minus the fact I'm afraid of heights, and I'm a flyer. Small thing going against me. But I'm 5'1" and weight like 110, so throwing me in the air is no sweat, its the coming down part that scares the sh*t out of me. so yea. we did craddle tosses. Which means I'm standing on 2 girls hands (they're facing each other) with a person in the back holding my ankles. Then they throw me into the air and I land sitting down with my feet/legs at this really uncomfortable angle. I was like "this isnt comfortable" and they were like "its not supposed to be." So of course the 1st time I didnt do it so badly, it was okay. Probably cause I didnt know what was happening so my mind didnt reeally know what was gonna happen. Third and Fourth time, I'd get up and then I'd freak out. It was funny. After I was done I like sprawled my body on the ground and remember how good it is. The ground is good.

'm wondering to myself why I downloaded Italian songs....self what was i thinking?

somedays life is better than others. i havent ventured outside the room yet (yes its the afternoon already) but so far things seem good. Why u may ask? bc i woke up to one of my really good friends calling me, and i got to laugh alot, which is what i needed and he argued w/me which is great. No one around here fights with me, they're all really nice girls. except for Katya, who's from Bulgaria, who I have yet to figure out if we like each other or hate one another. I think we like each other. I think....

anyways back to me: right so, yea, Luis called me and it was great. I got to laugh at him, and make fun at him, and just overall good conversation. Then again, we always have good conversations but thats besisdes my overall focus. In other good news, I skipped class and got to draw. Which I needed to do. I figure its more important than Italian. I needed to feed my soul. and its done.

bad part is that I opened the blind and looked outside and it's another one of those New England days where it looks the sky just threw up gray. Disgusting, I'm suprised ppl up here dont just kill themselves. So I lowered the blind. Also, Kim's not in the room, and I get to lisen to country. More of the making my soul happy.

odd asking ur roomate to get the hell out of ur room for the weekend cause the boy is coming over. i always hate how we agree on things like a looooong time ago, and then she like acts like this is the first time we've had this conversation. Its ok though. bc things will work out. but yea....i think its odd how she watches clips of ani di franco over and over again. i think its a sexual thing, and i dont wanna think about it. so yea.

in other news: talking back to ur coach is completly acceptable. actually its encouraged. my coach was telling me I did needed to open my legs more like to roll them out (if u know what this means please tell me, cause to me it just sounds sick) and I just like stared at her, cause I'm trying to not fall. And then she hit me, and I had her handprint on my thigh. It was funny. now re-reading this it doesnt sound so funny. its funny in like the way that someone tells u a story & gets to the punch line, and ur all like: yea... and then they look at u, and theres that uncomfortable silence like they just realized u didnt get it, and tell feel like a dumbass, and ur just like. yea. u know? and if u managed to follow that, i'm impressed.

This is the kind of humor I'm getting from a women's college:

An old woman visited her daughter's house and found her
daughter naked, waiting for her husband. "Daughter! What
are you doing naked?" the mother asked.
"This is the dress of love," the daughter responded.
The old mother returned home and took off her clothes to
wait for her husband. When he arrived and saw her, he said,
"What are you doing naked, woman?"
"This is the dress of love," she replied.
"Really?" he said. "Well, go iron it first."

Wall Street great movie, if u havent watched it, do it.

"The point is . . . that greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right. Greed works. Greed clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Greed, in all of its forms --- greed for life, for money, for love, knowledge --- has marked the upward surge of mankind, and greed . . . will not only save Teldar Paper but that other malfunctioning corporation called the U.S.A." -Gordon Gekko

Cancer (Jun 21 - Jul 22) - A water sign represented by the crab, Cancer symbolizes imagination and affection protected by a harsher outer core. Cancers are intuitive, loving and sympathetic, but tend to keep these traits hidden, which at times leads to their underappreciation. They also have less admirable traits including, moodiness and an inability to let go of things.

haha! i laugh at these things, but in the inside i'm crying....really i am.

my parents are the shit! i got a care package with everything a college student could ask for : money, thermals, a pretty note, a phone card, and magazines! SCORE!

so that was the most amazing game of basketball I've ever seen. Grated I've only seen 3 games in my entire life, but this was a damn good game. We were down by like 2 with 30 secs left and then we were tied, and then we were down by like 1 at like 10 secs and then we tied, and then there was overtime. I thought I was gonna die. We went into overtime and won it by 10 points. It was amazing.

right so life likes to punch u in the gut when it gets a chance to. and so it did. enough said. but at least my dilema is solved and I know I'm staying in Houston for J term. Life always decides for you.

y does my room smell like wet kim funk? huh? i just cleaned this morning and got all the funk smell out, and she manages to bring it back it....gross

and why does no one ever talk to God anymore? i think i've been ranting about this for a couple of yrs but seriously. it seems like before ppl could walk around and have conversations with God and ppl took them seriously. How come I cant just walk over to class and have a conversation with the divine?and even if i did get thru to him, if i told anyone about it, no one would believe me. whats that all about? i dont get it.

Game today at 7pm, and 2 hr practice before hand....i can just feel the excitement

i've discovered the meaning of life. Wake up early in the morning, and force ur ass out of bed and shower. or whatever else u do in the morning that wakes u up instantly. All of a sudden I had complete clarity and I was able to eat breakfast, get to my classes on time, do my laundry, and eat lunch. Amazing!

in other news: my theory of doing 8 loads of laundry for the entire yr has been ruined by the weekends' events. I had 3 weeks left. I was gonna do it....ohh well. actually, i could just not do any laundry for my remaining 3 wks and then my hypothesis will be proved correct. If theres one thing I learned from Felsky/Bobo, if it doesnt work just bootleg it. and bootleg i shall...

I think this is funny, so I'm gonna post it (yea its kinda long but its funny, so deal):

INSTRUCTION AND ADVICE FOR THE YOUNG BRIDE On the Conduct and Procedure of the Intimate and Personal Relationships of the Marriage State for the Greater Spiritual Sanctity of this Blessed Sacrament and the Glory of God by Ruth Smythers beloved wife of The Reverend L.D. Smythers Pastor of the Arcadian Methodist Church of the Eastern Regional Conference Published in the year of our Lord 1894 Spiritual Guidance Press New York City

INSTRUCTION AND ADVICE FOR THE YOUNG BRIDE circa 1894

To the sensitive young woman who has had the benefits of proper upbringing, the wedding day is, ironically, both the happiest and most terrifying day of her life. On the positive side, there is the wedding itself, in which the bride is the central attraction in a beautiful and inspiring ceremony, symbolizing her triumph in securing a male to provide for all her needs for the rest of her life. On the negative side, there is the wedding night, during which the bride must pay the piper, so to speak, by facing for the first time the terrible experience of sex.

At this point, dear reader, let me concede one shocking truth. Some young women actually anticipate the wedding night ordeal with curiosity and pleasure! Beware such an attitude! A selfish and sensual husband can easily take advantage of such a bride. One cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten: GIVE LITTLE, GIVE SELDOM, AND ABOVE ALL, GIVE GRUDGINGLY. Otherwise what could have been a proper marriage could become an orgy of sexual lust.

On the other hand, the bride's terror need not be extreme. While sex is at best revolting and at worse rather painful, it has to be endured, and has been by women since the beginning of time, and is compensated for by the monogamous home and by the children produced through it.

It is useless, in most cases, for the bride to prevail upon the groom to forego the sexual initiation. While the ideal husband would be one who would approach his bride only at her request and only for the purpose of begetting offspring, such nobility and unselfishness cannot be expected from the average man.

Most men, if not denied, would demand sex almost every day. The wise bride will permit a maximum of two brief sexual experiences weekly during the first months of marriage. As time goes by she should make every effort to reduce this frequency. Feigned illness, sleepiness, and headaches are among the wife's best friends in this matter. Arguments, nagging, scolding, and bickering also prove very effective, if used in the late evening about an hour before the husband would normally commence his seduction.

Clever wives are ever on the alert for new and better methods of denying and discouraging the amorous overtures of the husband. A good wife should expect to have reduced sexual contacts to once a week by the end of the first year of marriage and to once a month by the end of the fifth year of marriage.

By their tenth anniversary many wives have managed to complete their child bearing and have achieved the ultimate goal of terminating all sexual contacts with the husband. By this time she can depend upon his love for the children and social pressures to hold the husband in the home.

Just as she should be ever alert to keep the quantity of sex as low as possible, the wise bride will pay equal attention to limiting the kind and degree of sexual contacts. Most men are by nature rather perverted, and if given half a chance, would engage in quite a variety of the most revolting practices. These practices include among others performing the normal act in abnormal positions; mouthing the female body; and offering their own vile bodies to be mouthed in turn.

Nudity, talking about sex, reading stories about sex, viewing photographs and drawings depicting or suggesting sex are the obnoxious habits the male is likely to acquire if permitted. A wise bride will make it the goal never to allow her husband to see her unclothed body, and never allow him to display his unclothed body to her. Sex, when it cannot be prevented, should be practiced only in total darkness.

Many women have found it useful to have thick cotton nightgowns for themselves and pajamas for their husbands. These should be donned in separate rooms. They need not be removed during the sex act. Thus, a minimum of flesh is exposed.

Once the bride has donned her gown and turned off all the lights, she should lie quietly upon the bed and await her groom. When he comes groping into the room she should make no sound to guide him in her direction, lest he take this as a sign of encouragement. She should let him grope in the dark. There is always the hope that he will stumble and incur some slight injury which she can use as an excuse to deny him sexual access.

When he finds her, the wife should lie as still as possible. Bodily motion on her part could be interpreted as sexual excitement by the optimistic husband.

If he attempts to kiss her on the lips she should turn her head slightly so that the kiss falls harmlessly on her cheek instead. If he attempts to kiss her hand, she should make a fist. If he lifts her gown and attempts to kiss her anyplace else she should quickly pull the gown back in place, spring from the bed, and announce that nature calls her to the toilet. This will generally dampen his desire to kiss in the forbidden territory.

If the husband attempts to seduce her with lascivious talk, the wise wife will suddenly remember some trivial non-sexual question to ask him. Once he answers she should keep the conversation going, no matter how frivolous it may seem at the time. Eventually, the husband will learn that if he insists on having sexual contact, he must get on with it without amorous embellishment.

The wise wife will allow him to pull the gown up no farther than the waist, and only permit him to open the front of his pajamas to thus make connection. She will be absolutely silent or babble about her housework while he's huffing and puffing away. Above all, she will lie perfectly still and never under any circumstances grunt or groan while the act is in progress.

As soon as the husband has completed the act, the wise wife will start nagging him about various minor tasks she wishes him to perform on the morrow. Many men obtain a major portion of their sexual satisfaction from the peaceful exhaustion immediately after the act is over. Thus the wife must insure that there is no peace in this period for him to enjoy. Otherwise, he might be encouraged to soon try for more.

One heartening factor for which the wife can be grateful is the fact that the husband's home, school, church, and social environment have been working together all through his life to instill in him a deep sense of guilt in regard to his sexual feelings, so that he comes to the marriage couch apologetically and filled with shame, already half cowed and subdued. The wise wife seizes upon this advantage and relentlessly pursues her goal first to limit, later to annihilate completely her husband's desire for sexual expression.

lesson learned in cheerleading today: Never wear a thong to practice

in order news: I won the award for spirit in the last game. I go a ribbon. I feel special.

in order news: My room has a smell. Before it just smelled like Kim funk, now it smells like tobacco Kim funk. Ugly ppl shouldnt smoke. Actually no. I take it back. Ugly ppl should smoke, so they die off faster. The end.

right so, I hate Mondays. Rommate wakes me up at 8 in the morning. actually no, backing up, roommate doesnt let me get any rest at night bc she makes odd noises in her sleep that keep me up. what kind of noises u may ask, well she talks, breathes loudly and has other bodily functions that i shall refrain from mentioning. so i dont get any real sleep until she gets out of the room at like 8 something. i dont have work study till 10, so i decide to get some quality sleep. I wake up, its 9am, i go back to sleep thinking that i'll just wake up at 10 like normal. wrong I sleep thru work study bc i dont wake up until 11. this is my second offense. not good. so ur thinking thats not too bad, u cant hate mondays cause of that. the fun doesnt stop there. i had a quiz in italian. did i know i had a quiz? nope. did i bomb it? ohhh u wouldnt believe how badly i did on it. from then on i managed to smash my hand against a wall and look at my planner and realize that i have 3 wks until classes are over and i didnt get any work done during break.....sucks to be me

horoscope: Your personal life is anything but smooth. You have to let go of the past and learn to live each day at a time. Sudden events may disrupt your routine.

translation: Damn girl your track record sucks! forget about it though bc slowly thru the help of counselors, therapist, and Ms.Cleo you'll be able to breathe and not wonder when the shits gonna go down. Actually no, I lied, ur paranoid don't forget that. Ur easily frightened and if u don't plan stuff its gonna scare the crap out of you.