Porn does more than kill kittens

As a card carrying feminist it should come as no surprise that me and porn are not friends. My reasons however have very little to do with feminism. Its not the objectification or exploitation of women in porn that bothers me, even though I do think that women are objectified as sexual playthings in porn and that this is bad for women as a whole. But it doesn't bother me since I'm sure there are women that are into that kind of thing and have really turned the objectification into real tangible power (Jenna Jameson comes to mind). Plus its not up to me to judge what another woman has decided to do with her own body. Its just not my style.

Actually my main problem with porn is that it glosses over the most interesting parts of people. The flaws. In porn the women are perfectly blond and tanned, and while that's all well and good, its not real. And reality is the best part of sex. There's nothing like finding something on someone's body that's uniquely theirs. The mole right above their hip. Or the way a nose is slightly off center. The little blond hairs amidst all the black ones. The way their ear lobe is extra springy. The plumpness of a belly. All those little quirks are airbrushed right out of porn to make way for an idealized version of what women are supposed to look like. Which is boring to me.

When I'm with someone I like the sense of discovery that comes from seeing something no one has ever seen before. Its like discovering the new world without all the colonialism and small pox. Its fun. But in the porn that I have been exposed to (which is very mainstream we're talking playboy not midgets in bear suits doing donkeys) that just isn't there. And that saddens me, because the best parts of people, the things that make them really beautiful and worth knowing, is the mix of flaws and quirks that make them them and not someone else. I have no interest in perfect versions of people. Perfection is boring. And I'd rather get off on something real. Although this isn't to say that I want to watch your home videos, since you should know that no one wants to watch your home made porn unless of course your name is Paris Hilton or Tommy Lee in which case everyone is going to be watching.

That little rant turned out longer than I expected. If you're still bored, here are some links to keep you amused and away from the porn:

* An interview with the new folks on snl that have made the show worth watching again.

* "Fake Gay News, because real gay news is too damn depressing"

* Umm so some people really do want to ejaculate like a porn star...especially like this guy. To which I say ew.

* "4 out of 10 people think it's okay to talk on a cell phone in the bathroom"

* A cute little article on a Colombian musician who turns ak-47s into guitars.

* A great analysis on Matisyahu on Slate. The most interesting part for me was the last five paragraphs on how Jewish musicians/entertainers have been doing this type of thing for a while.

* The Men's Bill of Rights from Slate, continuing the conversation on the reproductive rights of men.

* How to be a good lover.

* Hello Kitty Waffle maker. Because waffles are just that much more delicious when they're shaped like hello kitty.

* The shame on you kit for those who want to be prepared for their one night stand with both condoms and a side of guilt.

* A surprisingly lucid interview with Macaulay Culkin from New York Magazine.

* The top 1000 list of books in public libraries in the US.

* Writing and drinking go hand in hand.

* A very funny video on the value of virginity. ps. this is soo not safe for work.