too funny to not share

This came from: http://www.nerve.com/regulars/thisweekinsex/10-10-03/

What Kimmy's Mom and the Vatican Have in Common

Once TWR was babysitting our three-year-old niece Kimmy, who would not shut up. We asked her if she wanted some ice cream — figuring that if we gave her a whole gallon that was really frozen, it might occupy her for a while — but she recoiled in horror. Apparently, her mother had told her that frozen desserts contained bugs which, when ingested, would devour her from the inside out. No joke.

We chalked that one up to questionable parenting, but this week we were reminded that you're never too old to be fantastically deceived by people who want you to behave a certain way. Apparently, the Vatican (which, for our purposes, roughly corresponds to Kimmy’s mom) has issued warnings in AIDS-stricken countries (Kimmy) that people should not use condoms (ice cream) because they contain tiny holes that AIDS can pass through (organ-devouring bugs).

The president of the Vatican's Pontifical Council for the Family, Cardinal Alfonso Lopez Trujillo, stated, "The AIDS virus is roughly 450 times smaller than the spermatozoon. The spermatozoon can easily pass through the 'net' that is formed by the condom.” Meanwhile, the archbishop of Nairobi, Raphael Ndingi Nzeki, said: "AIDS . . . has grown so fast because of the availability of condoms."

Meanwhile, I'm banging my head against a wall. — Carrie Hill Wilner