right so, my boyfriend is crazy, but its very nice. now i just have to find a car to drive to springfield in to pick him up...by 10....i wish i had more advance notice on these things.
also what is it w/professors giving us (by us i mean me) all this work over break its break! i need to get so much done and i dont know how thats going to happen. oh well. it'll magically get done.
umm in other news, i'm skipping all of my classes tomorrow, bc andy's skipping his to see me so i'm skipping mine to see him. as long as he gets back into boston sometime before 7am on wednesday when his flight leaves and he's able to pack stuff to go home in its all good.
ohh i really need a car. like really.
noviembre 23, 2002
i'm in a really odd mood. I'm restless, like I have too much extra energy and I'm sick of this school routine, wake up study, read, study, italian, sleep, marx, eat; the same thing everyday. I really just wanna go home and drive around and waste gas and not have a place to go to. Thats what I want to do right now, I wanna go on a drive, lisen to some music and clear my head. but thats not gonna happen tonight. so i'm left here with a headache, slightly brewing over things, overanalyzing things far more than they should be. somewhere along the way i stopped having fun. i dont know when that happened. its all starting to fall under the pretext of work....all of it.
i got all dressed up today bc i was tired of looking like shit. i put on makeup, i did my hair, i wore something cute. and then nothing. i did homework. went to the coffee house and gossiped about people who came in. a good waste of the evening. the funny thing was i felt odd going to dinner and being cute, bc everyone was basically in sweats, but whatever, i needed to see myself in something other than a wifebeater.
i got all dressed up today bc i was tired of looking like shit. i put on makeup, i did my hair, i wore something cute. and then nothing. i did homework. went to the coffee house and gossiped about people who came in. a good waste of the evening. the funny thing was i felt odd going to dinner and being cute, bc everyone was basically in sweats, but whatever, i needed to see myself in something other than a wifebeater.
noviembre 21, 2002
so i asked Andy a very simple question, a dangerous question but really a very simple question, I asked him if he thought that i was still as pretty with short hair as i had been with long hair. i wanted him to lie. i really did not want to know what he honestly thought about my shorter hair. i honestly didnt. i wanted to him (and expected him) to say "jessica of course ur still as pretty with short hair as u are with long hair. it doesnt matter how long ur hair is" he didnt. and his answer, was the wrong answer.
andy's going to say when he reads this, that if i didnt want his honest opinion why did i ask him. the answer (and this applies to everyone reading and taking notes) that many times ppl ask u questions (by ppl i mean women and speciafically women that u are dating) and they do not want to hear the truth they want to hear something that will make themselves feel better, a much softer and kindler watered-down version of "the truth," which really means a lie. bc really theres nothing i can do now but wait until my hair grows back to how long it was and that will take me about 2-3yrs. Now 2-3yrs is a looong time to not like the way ur hair looks, and i know i chopped off my hair for a good cause and that i need to get over it, but u dont live with my hair, i do, so dont try telling me that. but thats not the point of this story, the point of the story is that there is a right answer and a wrong answer to dangerous questions, u need to pause (but not for too long a time) and think about what it is that they want to hear, and then u need to say that in the best possible way. now someone with some skills can completly turn the conversation and avoid the question all together, although i do not think that there are many ppl out there with those kind of skills.
now if all of y'all are real smart, u will leave comments telling me how i am still pretty even though my hair is short.
andy's going to say when he reads this, that if i didnt want his honest opinion why did i ask him. the answer (and this applies to everyone reading and taking notes) that many times ppl ask u questions (by ppl i mean women and speciafically women that u are dating) and they do not want to hear the truth they want to hear something that will make themselves feel better, a much softer and kindler watered-down version of "the truth," which really means a lie. bc really theres nothing i can do now but wait until my hair grows back to how long it was and that will take me about 2-3yrs. Now 2-3yrs is a looong time to not like the way ur hair looks, and i know i chopped off my hair for a good cause and that i need to get over it, but u dont live with my hair, i do, so dont try telling me that. but thats not the point of this story, the point of the story is that there is a right answer and a wrong answer to dangerous questions, u need to pause (but not for too long a time) and think about what it is that they want to hear, and then u need to say that in the best possible way. now someone with some skills can completly turn the conversation and avoid the question all together, although i do not think that there are many ppl out there with those kind of skills.
now if all of y'all are real smart, u will leave comments telling me how i am still pretty even though my hair is short.
a lot of times i seriously wonder about ppl. i really think that if these ppl just smoked some illegal substances (that i want t make very clear that i do not consume/smoke/insert into my body/snort) things would go a lot better in some of these places. hell in all of these places. dont believe me? what some proof that ppl need to chill out? read this and then make a comment
i've been missing in action this week, sorry about that its been a busy busy week.
I talked to my best friend Alesha on tuesday night and her life always makes me very thankful of the life that i have now. Life is really very different when u dont go to school and u have a kid, and ur dating a dumbass who mistreats u, and u dont have a high school diploma because life basically screwed u over. the point is her life puts my life in perspective, and me going moho is really a priviledge, and something that i cant take very lightly.
lets see i bombed an italian quiz, mostly bc i skipped the 2 classes leading up to it, and felt like shit during class. i hate the passato remoto, i hate it. i hated it last yr, and i hate it this yr. its just so annoying and pointless, no one uses it in normal conversation and unless ur going to be reading old italian books ur not going to need it. and i for one am not planning on opening a boring italian book and reading it. its just not going to happen. ugh. but yea, i have 10 italian classes left this semester and i cannot wait until they are over. i hate waking up and getting to italian. which makes me scared of next semester having to be at umass at 9:30am. but at least i have friends taking the class with me, so i can deal with that with other ppl.
i've been reading really interesting stuff for my women's studies class, about the Green Belt Movement in Kenya, and what these women are managing to accomplish there. like its a very simple idea for a project, these women plant trees, well they give away seeds so that women can plant trees so that they have firewood, food, and shade. In Kenya bc of globalization and the stupid IMF structural adjustement programs, the traditional croops of Africa were replaced with nontraditional plants, such as coffee that were intended to be grown so that the country would have an export to sell to the world market. This is just bad economics basically, and i wont go into the whole reasoning behind it, but just know that its retarded and that the world has never worked like that and never will, although it is a very utopian and interesting theory. anyways the point is that these "cash crops" were farmed and as we all know u cant live off coffee, and so they wonder why children are malnutritioned and dying when an entire country is now being forced to import the foods that they need to eat. the land becomes erroded bc these plants cannot survive the summers in africa, and bad awful things happen as the result of bad economics. so this group encourages communities to plant indigiounous trees in order to be able to sustain the community. the point, is that reading this stuff is really encouraging bc very simple things like planting trees has huge ripple affects on every aspect of the community.
the other interesting point of my readings was that they mentioned this woman named Patsy Ruth Oliver, who is an amazing enviromental activist that emerged out of Texarkana. Now u have to understand that feeling that i got from doing my readings for class and realizing that they were talking about a place that i've been to. and i mean they talk about the valley and what goes on there, and i've visited but for some reason reading about texarkana was just so interesting for me. Like Terxarkana is a superfund site, which means that it is one of the most polluted places in the US. Like these families had creotin bubbling up in their sinks, and developed tumors and children died, etc. Which just made me think of Pasadena and the weird awful smell whole nasty place has, and how those ppl are probably dying too. (btw, they made the argument that these companies target the communties of minorities to dump their waste, which was interesting and made me want to force a law to go thru that they start dumping the awful chemical waste underneth the homes of the evil CEO's that run these companies, to see how much they liked to watch their children die of cancer) Its a weird feeling when u randomly read about ur homestate and its never about the good things that are going on there.
and i think i've figuared out what i want to write my thesis about, which is great bc if my advisor lets me do it that means that i can start like next semester and work thru the summer on that. which may be amazingly great for me. so much stuff running thru my head but i think i'm doing okay. my level of hygiene is a bit down, but my brain is in great condition, which is really all that matters. this weekend i will do work, lots of it.
I talked to my best friend Alesha on tuesday night and her life always makes me very thankful of the life that i have now. Life is really very different when u dont go to school and u have a kid, and ur dating a dumbass who mistreats u, and u dont have a high school diploma because life basically screwed u over. the point is her life puts my life in perspective, and me going moho is really a priviledge, and something that i cant take very lightly.
lets see i bombed an italian quiz, mostly bc i skipped the 2 classes leading up to it, and felt like shit during class. i hate the passato remoto, i hate it. i hated it last yr, and i hate it this yr. its just so annoying and pointless, no one uses it in normal conversation and unless ur going to be reading old italian books ur not going to need it. and i for one am not planning on opening a boring italian book and reading it. its just not going to happen. ugh. but yea, i have 10 italian classes left this semester and i cannot wait until they are over. i hate waking up and getting to italian. which makes me scared of next semester having to be at umass at 9:30am. but at least i have friends taking the class with me, so i can deal with that with other ppl.
i've been reading really interesting stuff for my women's studies class, about the Green Belt Movement in Kenya, and what these women are managing to accomplish there. like its a very simple idea for a project, these women plant trees, well they give away seeds so that women can plant trees so that they have firewood, food, and shade. In Kenya bc of globalization and the stupid IMF structural adjustement programs, the traditional croops of Africa were replaced with nontraditional plants, such as coffee that were intended to be grown so that the country would have an export to sell to the world market. This is just bad economics basically, and i wont go into the whole reasoning behind it, but just know that its retarded and that the world has never worked like that and never will, although it is a very utopian and interesting theory. anyways the point is that these "cash crops" were farmed and as we all know u cant live off coffee, and so they wonder why children are malnutritioned and dying when an entire country is now being forced to import the foods that they need to eat. the land becomes erroded bc these plants cannot survive the summers in africa, and bad awful things happen as the result of bad economics. so this group encourages communities to plant indigiounous trees in order to be able to sustain the community. the point, is that reading this stuff is really encouraging bc very simple things like planting trees has huge ripple affects on every aspect of the community.
the other interesting point of my readings was that they mentioned this woman named Patsy Ruth Oliver, who is an amazing enviromental activist that emerged out of Texarkana. Now u have to understand that feeling that i got from doing my readings for class and realizing that they were talking about a place that i've been to. and i mean they talk about the valley and what goes on there, and i've visited but for some reason reading about texarkana was just so interesting for me. Like Terxarkana is a superfund site, which means that it is one of the most polluted places in the US. Like these families had creotin bubbling up in their sinks, and developed tumors and children died, etc. Which just made me think of Pasadena and the weird awful smell whole nasty place has, and how those ppl are probably dying too. (btw, they made the argument that these companies target the communties of minorities to dump their waste, which was interesting and made me want to force a law to go thru that they start dumping the awful chemical waste underneth the homes of the evil CEO's that run these companies, to see how much they liked to watch their children die of cancer) Its a weird feeling when u randomly read about ur homestate and its never about the good things that are going on there.
and i think i've figuared out what i want to write my thesis about, which is great bc if my advisor lets me do it that means that i can start like next semester and work thru the summer on that. which may be amazingly great for me. so much stuff running thru my head but i think i'm doing okay. my level of hygiene is a bit down, but my brain is in great condition, which is really all that matters. this weekend i will do work, lots of it.
noviembre 18, 2002
i'm starting to think that the source of my problems lie in the fact that i am too well liked. i will even venture to say that i am too loved for my own good, bc no one wants me to leave them. this should be a great thing, but the problem is that i become very attached to people that i also love and care for, and so i dont want to leave them either. the new problem with my going to italy plan thing, is that my advisor, who i adore terribly, will be in hong kong when i come back. this means that in my senior yr, i will no longer have my wonderful advisor who make random phone calls for me and get me into the classes i want and teaches fun econ courses for me. this makes me very sad. and all sorts of panicky. he's now attempting to get me to go to umass for grad so that i will continue to see him after i graduate and so he can sit on my disertation committee. i have to admit that the prospect of having him, wolff, and resnick sitting on my committee is very nice. but i hate this weather, mostly bc i get all sickly when its cold and dont want to venture outside. so then i become antisocial and moody and such. oh well, grad school is very far away from now. satya started joking around and saying that he never knows what to expect from me. i never do either. but so far i think i've done alright. i think i'm going to italy. i'll learn to live without the internet and without seeing my favorite andy. that part also makes me really sad. hell maybe i wont get in and the choice will be made for me.
yay for me! and i really should be asleep. oh and if i go to italy i have narrowed it down to either Milan or Rome, and as Anna has pointed out Milan has really amazing shoes...and the evil consumer in me *loves* shoes. but we shall see. but i'm thinking italy will be the place to be next year...now to get accepted.
Your lips are totally kissable baby, and you know how to use them.
You are the perfect kisser - with the right combo of lips and tongue.
It's important to flaunt it, so kiss early and often on dates!
How Do *You* Kiss?
More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva
You Are A Juicy Kisser!
Your lips are totally kissable baby, and you know how to use them.
You are the perfect kisser - with the right combo of lips and tongue.
It's important to flaunt it, so kiss early and often on dates!
How Do *You* Kiss?
More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva
noviembre 17, 2002
i've been noticing lately that theres a bunch of alcoholics running around this school. (by a bunch i mean like 10) like women who start partying on tuesday afternoon and dont stop till monday morning when they're too hungover to drink anymore. people like this scare me. mostly bc i have a pretty high tolerance so the concept of how much it would take me to get me drunk for an entire week frightens me. although these are the same ppl that help me make A's in classes since its impossible for them to write coherent sentences. i went over to the thirsty mind last night (the coffee house place) and ran into some ppl that i lived with last yr, (the troll even made an apperance) and i started talking to kathryn who is too much fun and she started telling me that one of her profs was basically telling the class that the papers were so awful that he became suicidal halfway thru reading them. so i started joking around that it would make for a hillarious comment on a paper, like "your writing is so awful that i felt like throwing myself off a cliff after reading the garbage that you wrote. for my mental health, i would appreciate that you dropped the class, thanks." like how would u feel after getting that? its just funny the standards that these ppl hold us to, like they're not dicking around when it comes to these papers. ah silly profs...
noviembre 16, 2002
i'm a lazy ass. heres the deal though, the school's server has been retarded lately, some sort of problem with verizon, so what i really wanna do is move over to the schools server. thats like the ultimate goal. so think of this as an "inbetween" kind of deal. like the girl who isnt really the one but is better than getting no ass. she's good enough for now. thats this skin.
as far as me, satya like calmed me the fuck down on friday and we talked for like a good 3-4 hrs about my life and me going to grad and how he thinks i'm brilliant and he talked me into taking like 3 econ classes and none of my maths. he's basically trying to talk me out of going abroad to italy, and i have to say that i'm seriously considering it, bc if i can start taking like grad classes at umass then that gives me a huge heads up on everyone else. and like he pointed out if i seriously want to go to italy, i can always become a visiting professor or something and like there for a year. thats what he does when he feels like going to china.
oh and i was doing consumerism surveys on friday, and these women were getting like pissed off at me. like seriously upset and i just wanted to break it down to them and tell them that if they didnt buy shit for a day, or hell even for christmas they werent going to ruin the economy and force ppl to lose they're jobs. i'm also really bad at giving surverys. thats what i learned. i'm very passive about like "eh, fill this survey please" and then ppl ignore me.
umm yea. i went to dinner with anna and yara, and that was just so much fun. we had chinese and talked and made fun of ppl and it was exactly what i needed to regain my sanity.
as far as me, satya like calmed me the fuck down on friday and we talked for like a good 3-4 hrs about my life and me going to grad and how he thinks i'm brilliant and he talked me into taking like 3 econ classes and none of my maths. he's basically trying to talk me out of going abroad to italy, and i have to say that i'm seriously considering it, bc if i can start taking like grad classes at umass then that gives me a huge heads up on everyone else. and like he pointed out if i seriously want to go to italy, i can always become a visiting professor or something and like there for a year. thats what he does when he feels like going to china.
oh and i was doing consumerism surveys on friday, and these women were getting like pissed off at me. like seriously upset and i just wanted to break it down to them and tell them that if they didnt buy shit for a day, or hell even for christmas they werent going to ruin the economy and force ppl to lose they're jobs. i'm also really bad at giving surverys. thats what i learned. i'm very passive about like "eh, fill this survey please" and then ppl ignore me.
umm yea. i went to dinner with anna and yara, and that was just so much fun. we had chinese and talked and made fun of ppl and it was exactly what i needed to regain my sanity.
noviembre 14, 2002
my desk is a covered in schedules. i'm trying to get my schedule for next semester figuared out and done and turned in early so that i'll get all the classes i need....but ahhh umass keeps trying to screw me over basically. as it stands right now i've signed up for intermediate italian, us economic history (with gabe), into to stats, calc 1 (yes i know i said i was never going to take it....but i'm going to grad school so i need it), and i need an econ class, specifically a intermediate micro or macro class in order to be an "econ" major. its so annoying. theres so many class that i want to take and i'm being forced to waste my time with 3 classes that i know i shall dislike intensely. i still need random stuff like a lab science, some gym credits (i think 3) and math (which i'll be taking next semester.
maybe i can drop clac and take something much more exciting....like a grad marxian class at umass....so many options....
maybe i can drop clac and take something much more exciting....like a grad marxian class at umass....so many options....
noviembre 13, 2002
okay lets see if this worked.
yes!
okay, the banner above is for a great campaign called "Buy Nothing day" Nov.29 (the day after thanksgiving) is the busiest shopping day of the yr in the US. Overconsumption is the mother of all the problems that we have right now, (why do women in el salvador have to work in sweatshops? bc americans "consume"/ buy more goods than any other country in the world. not only do they want these goods they want them cheap. why is the us going to war with Iraq? not to fight 'terroism" but to gain control over the country with the largest amount of petrolium deposits in the world. oh and fyi americans consume more oil then any other country in the world. why is global warming giving us extra floods and messed up weather? short answer, overconsumption.)
christmas is a wonderful beautiful holiday. and its not about getting gifts. its actually a religious holiday, but we wont hold that against it. (kidding) christmas is about love. friends. family. spend time with ur loved ones. buy ur friends meangful gifts if u even buy them anything at all. spend the money on worthwhile causes, charity. think, evaluate what the money that ur spending is saying to corporations. when u spend $50 on a sweater from the Gap (or on a downpayment for a pair of nikes) ur telling those companies that its okay by u that they destroy the earth and exploit ppl, including ur family members, and urself. thats not the gift that u want to be giving.
oh something thats been bugging me for a while now....
why is j.lo going to marry ben afflect? thats jennifer lopez from the bronx, who has the most ghetto ass i have seen in a really long time, marrying some guy from cambridge, mass. thats not right. thats one of the fly girls from inliving color marrying a white guy named ben.
yes!
okay, the banner above is for a great campaign called "Buy Nothing day" Nov.29 (the day after thanksgiving) is the busiest shopping day of the yr in the US. Overconsumption is the mother of all the problems that we have right now, (why do women in el salvador have to work in sweatshops? bc americans "consume"/ buy more goods than any other country in the world. not only do they want these goods they want them cheap. why is the us going to war with Iraq? not to fight 'terroism" but to gain control over the country with the largest amount of petrolium deposits in the world. oh and fyi americans consume more oil then any other country in the world. why is global warming giving us extra floods and messed up weather? short answer, overconsumption.)
christmas is a wonderful beautiful holiday. and its not about getting gifts. its actually a religious holiday, but we wont hold that against it. (kidding) christmas is about love. friends. family. spend time with ur loved ones. buy ur friends meangful gifts if u even buy them anything at all. spend the money on worthwhile causes, charity. think, evaluate what the money that ur spending is saying to corporations. when u spend $50 on a sweater from the Gap (or on a downpayment for a pair of nikes) ur telling those companies that its okay by u that they destroy the earth and exploit ppl, including ur family members, and urself. thats not the gift that u want to be giving.
oh something thats been bugging me for a while now....
why is j.lo going to marry ben afflect? thats jennifer lopez from the bronx, who has the most ghetto ass i have seen in a really long time, marrying some guy from cambridge, mass. thats not right. thats one of the fly girls from inliving color marrying a white guy named ben.
noviembre 12, 2002
i just realized that i dont have a sprinkler in my room. that sucks for me.
i wish i could paint my walls...they would look so pretty...like a nice happy yellow, como un pollito like my mommy says. i miss my mommy...i miss my parents. some evil man tried to rob my father at gunpoint (sorry if mom didnt get a hold of u to tell u jonathan) on sunday night while my daddy was walking the crazy dog. my daddy escaped and got back home safely but still...life is so fragile... and the irony of some desparate crazy bad man trying to get money from my dad is just...::sigh:: people are so disconnected from one another. like if that man knew my father, and that he's given everything he has to educate his children, then i dont think he would have tried to do that, but people dont think of others. i run accross a lot of girls here who feel that they're entitled to have whatever they want. i think thats why i want my kids to grow up with very little, or at least thinking that their poor because i think that having to work for everything that you have gives you the best perspective on life...on whats truly important and what is a luxury, a gift, not an entitlement or a right. the older that i get, and the more perspective that i receive the more afraid i am of losing the few people in my life that i truly value. my mom's illness taught me that...life teaches you many things about priorities in life.
do something good. live. we all hear that crap about seizing the day but i'm starting to think that its true, and i'm getting really scared because i spend most of mine with my nose in a book and not actually getting to live it. college does that. and so does having a job. things try to get in the way of u enjoying ur own life...maybe thats why i want to go to italy, so that i can try to get out of this american mindset of always rushing thru things...rushing thru ur life not focusing on whats important.
its been raining here since around sunday, when andy left and its funny the effect that the rain has on me. it seems appropriate somehow.
i wish i could paint my walls...they would look so pretty...like a nice happy yellow, como un pollito like my mommy says. i miss my mommy...i miss my parents. some evil man tried to rob my father at gunpoint (sorry if mom didnt get a hold of u to tell u jonathan) on sunday night while my daddy was walking the crazy dog. my daddy escaped and got back home safely but still...life is so fragile... and the irony of some desparate crazy bad man trying to get money from my dad is just...::sigh:: people are so disconnected from one another. like if that man knew my father, and that he's given everything he has to educate his children, then i dont think he would have tried to do that, but people dont think of others. i run accross a lot of girls here who feel that they're entitled to have whatever they want. i think thats why i want my kids to grow up with very little, or at least thinking that their poor because i think that having to work for everything that you have gives you the best perspective on life...on whats truly important and what is a luxury, a gift, not an entitlement or a right. the older that i get, and the more perspective that i receive the more afraid i am of losing the few people in my life that i truly value. my mom's illness taught me that...life teaches you many things about priorities in life.
do something good. live. we all hear that crap about seizing the day but i'm starting to think that its true, and i'm getting really scared because i spend most of mine with my nose in a book and not actually getting to live it. college does that. and so does having a job. things try to get in the way of u enjoying ur own life...maybe thats why i want to go to italy, so that i can try to get out of this american mindset of always rushing thru things...rushing thru ur life not focusing on whats important.
its been raining here since around sunday, when andy left and its funny the effect that the rain has on me. it seems appropriate somehow.
i did this all for lasu. i hate losing.
umm i may mess around with the colors and maybe change the colors scheme or something. i think maybe i'll even try to create my very own blog....but we'll see how this weekend looks for that. i make no promises. although i do promise that i will not be returning to the 80's....it just didnt feel right.
but yea....i wrote my ws paper/letter thing this morning. i started on it at 1:30ish. and then i talked to andy for a bit and then i was vaguely made an outline. vaguely. then i went to bed at like 2:30 and set my alarm for 6 to finish. which meant that i started writing around 8am. which wasnt too bad i finished the letter at 9:50something and managed to get to italian only like 10minutes late. i'm that girl in the class who can never get to class on time. i try though. i try really hard...i just cant.
the global assembly line was pretty cool. i learned how liz clayborne is the devil, how taco bell wont give their tomatoe pickers a one cent raise (those bastards), how ll bean gives pregancy test to their textile workers in china and pay them "minimum wage" which is about .21 in china as opposed to "living wage which is a whole .81, ummm yea, oh and starbucks only buy 1% of their coffee at fair trade so their also the devil and their cups are made with prison labor in the US. oh and chocolate is a "luxury" good...i had never thought of it as one...and my team did intel and how they screw over the philippinos... it makes me wonder where to buy my food, clothing, and technology stuff without having that guilt that goes with knowing that the computer ur writing on, the clothes that are on your body where all made by people who are basically slaves of capitalism. ur clothes are made by slaves. i want guilt free clothes....
oh this site was made by one of the teams in the class about the women in El Salvador who work for Liz Claiborne
this is another good site about sweatshops around Los Angeles and gives u good info on how to get involved. i think it specifically deals with the evil forever 21, but it might also have info on other evil textile companies.
umm i may mess around with the colors and maybe change the colors scheme or something. i think maybe i'll even try to create my very own blog....but we'll see how this weekend looks for that. i make no promises. although i do promise that i will not be returning to the 80's....it just didnt feel right.
but yea....i wrote my ws paper/letter thing this morning. i started on it at 1:30ish. and then i talked to andy for a bit and then i was vaguely made an outline. vaguely. then i went to bed at like 2:30 and set my alarm for 6 to finish. which meant that i started writing around 8am. which wasnt too bad i finished the letter at 9:50something and managed to get to italian only like 10minutes late. i'm that girl in the class who can never get to class on time. i try though. i try really hard...i just cant.
the global assembly line was pretty cool. i learned how liz clayborne is the devil, how taco bell wont give their tomatoe pickers a one cent raise (those bastards), how ll bean gives pregancy test to their textile workers in china and pay them "minimum wage" which is about .21 in china as opposed to "living wage which is a whole .81, ummm yea, oh and starbucks only buy 1% of their coffee at fair trade so their also the devil and their cups are made with prison labor in the US. oh and chocolate is a "luxury" good...i had never thought of it as one...and my team did intel and how they screw over the philippinos... it makes me wonder where to buy my food, clothing, and technology stuff without having that guilt that goes with knowing that the computer ur writing on, the clothes that are on your body where all made by people who are basically slaves of capitalism. ur clothes are made by slaves. i want guilt free clothes....
oh this site was made by one of the teams in the class about the women in El Salvador who work for Liz Claiborne
this is another good site about sweatshops around Los Angeles and gives u good info on how to get involved. i think it specifically deals with the evil forever 21, but it might also have info on other evil textile companies.
noviembre 11, 2002
satya is so amazing! we figuared out my schedule and what i needed for that. but he's so funny. i wanted to take this econ seminar with another professor and he's like "yea he's okay, but if u just need the seminar credits then tell me what classes u want to take and i'll teach them when you get back"
i'm basically majoring in econ from Satya. oh well, i'm not complaining. I like his classes, their much funner than normal econ classes. and really who else will taylor their syllubus to match what i want to learn?
oh and as far as the new look for the blog goes keep in mind that i'm not even sure if i like it. so we really dont know how long it'll last. it might just be too 80's for me.
i'm basically majoring in econ from Satya. oh well, i'm not complaining. I like his classes, their much funner than normal econ classes. and really who else will taylor their syllubus to match what i want to learn?
oh and as far as the new look for the blog goes keep in mind that i'm not even sure if i like it. so we really dont know how long it'll last. it might just be too 80's for me.
noviembre 10, 2002
this was the best weekend that i've had in a really long time. andy and luke came to visit and it was just the most wonderful thing in the entire world. luke and I had hot chocolate and steamed milk at the dirty and i had this delicious delicious strawberry. we all watched anna and yara dance on saturday and that was fun. anna did a very disturbing piece that messed with andy's mind but left me feeling relieved that anna wasnt actually going crazy, it was all just that damn Tere O'Connor and his messed up mind, and now i hope that she's gotten all the crazyness out of her system and will return to normal. umm we all went to eat at the Teapot in Noho, and that was fun. i ate yummy shrimp and discovered that i really just want a dish entitled "shrimp," because i have no use for all the other stuff that they like to serve with it. like broccoli, who eats broccoli? umm but yea, we had to run to catch the bus and we realized that since luke is like 6'8" when he runs its like....well i've never seen anything like it. when we got back we played charades and that was fun in that way where things turn into a disaster and u wonder how u got sucked into playing. it was me and andy against anna and luke, and me and andy make a great couple, but the combination of both of us in a competitive enviroment is just horrific. mostly bc neither of us could ever really be considered a "team player" so anna and luke gave me War and Peace (the book) to try to act out, so i being very logical pretended my hands were ppl and started making them fight, to symbolize that war is really 2 individual governments fighting against one another. obvious stuff. andy had no idea what i was doing. so then i resorted to giving andy an illegal 'w' hand gesture, which got me disqualified. other highlights of the game included them giving me the movie "gooyneys" (or something like that) to try to guess, which of course i had no idea what the hell it was since i didnt grow up in this country. so that round involved andy doing stuff and me telling him i didnt know what the fuck he was doing. and then the other highlight was anna doing interpritive dance movements to get luke to figuare out "natural born killers" and luke being incredibly confused.
umm but yea, it was a great weekend. a normal weekend with boys and just so so wonderful.
umm but yea, it was a great weekend. a normal weekend with boys and just so so wonderful.
noviembre 09, 2002
| ||||
yea i should be asleep.
noviembre 08, 2002
Googlism for: jessica
jessica is britain's choice for
jessica is a golden girl
jessica is favourite for eurovision
jessica is still here a week later and everything is still the
jessica is so cool
jessica is horse ride on sandy asian chick experiences anal sex
jessica is buff
jessica is my biffly
jessica is a 999 heroine
jessica is nominated
jessica is pregnant? fact or fiction?
jessica is from chicago and is majoring in journalism with a
jessica is satan
jessica is a horny blonde bitch screaming for cock
jessica is a beautiful teen
jessica is the naughty secretary at unzipped
jessica is going to brazil
jessica is een lekkerding
jessica is britain's choice for eurovision
jessica is a but head
jessica is horse ride on sandy
jessica is still here a week later and everything is still the same
jessica is gone by possumtoy
jessica is safe
jessica is a horse ride on sandy amatuer holding her pussy open what
jessica is jessica
jessica is by mattbjorke
jessica is the bestest person in the world!
jessica is a bitch
jessica is a beautiful girl
jessica is engaging
jessica is a homosexual
jessica is pregnant? fact or fiction? there are rumors about that jessica is pregnant
jessica is posing in her gi
jessica is no23 in midweek uk charts
jessica is a freshman in college and is loving it
jessica is from chicago and is majoring in journalism with a second concentration in political science
jessica is a beautiful 12
jessica is never afraid to say hi to whomever crosses her path as she makes her way through her first year of middle school
jessica is a controversial sexy model and inspiring actress
jessica is a good student who has maintained a 3
jessica is an offbeat sophomore who tends to go out on the town a lot
jessica is just as picky with her men as she is grammar
jessica is a beautiful teen from illinois
jessica is sixteen years old and is waking up from a rough night of sleep
jessica is ready to throw in the towel when she comes across an intriguing personal ad in a newspaper
jessica is the best
jessica is a talented violin player and pianist
jessica is the total opposite
jessica is like a rocket ship headed for the stratosphere
jessica is an idiot
jessica is now a freshman in high school in ohio and is a normal teen with peer pressure
jessica is my best friend in hong kong
jessica is doing very well
jessica is interested in a relationship with another woman because she says she is
jessica is not a substitute for counseling
jessica is one of the principals of easton
jessica is decidedly uncomfortable with the conversation
jessica is always having a good time
jessica is about the trials and tribulations this little
jessica is well known at our post office and they all love her
jessica is sitting up and crawling
jessica is 20 months old
jessica is forced
jessica is a former 2001 world spirit federation
jessica is mesmerized by the virtual playground filled with stars from fantasy land movies and all the people at big burger
jessica is mesmerized by the virtual playground filled with stars from
jessica is to be taken to a secure hospital where prisoners sleep in locked metal
jessica is the best and i've seen her in a couple films
jessica is the youngest child of sam and grace bennett
jessica is also very involved with her church
jessica is a dir en grey's song
jessica is currently signed with columbia records
jessica is above all a hopeless perfectionist
jessica is willing to do whatever it takes to win
jessica is one of the top 5 showcase artists with adopt a band
jessica is very beautiful
jessica is also the marriage host and special education host
jessica is female
jessica is a native of dallas
jessica is kidnapped on the streets of portland
jessica is 11 lbs 7 oz
jessica is at the middleware level and is compatible with the standard jvm
jessica is one of the very few who have earned an ?exceptional? rating for their first
jessica is a twenty
jessica is seen with her family and friends
jessica is one of the smartest kids in the sixth grade
jessica is a mostly entertaining sit
jessica is creeped out by them
jessica is with her mother
jessica is not a real zombie
jessica is warming up
jessica is dying to find out the story behind joel and his 5
jessica is wearing a child's grey sweatshirt
ummm ok, all the stuff about anal sex, i am not.
jessica is britain's choice for
jessica is a golden girl
jessica is favourite for eurovision
jessica is still here a week later and everything is still the
jessica is so cool
jessica is horse ride on sandy asian chick experiences anal sex
jessica is buff
jessica is my biffly
jessica is a 999 heroine
jessica is nominated
jessica is pregnant? fact or fiction?
jessica is from chicago and is majoring in journalism with a
jessica is satan
jessica is a horny blonde bitch screaming for cock
jessica is a beautiful teen
jessica is the naughty secretary at unzipped
jessica is going to brazil
jessica is een lekkerding
jessica is britain's choice for eurovision
jessica is a but head
jessica is horse ride on sandy
jessica is still here a week later and everything is still the same
jessica is gone by possumtoy
jessica is safe
jessica is a horse ride on sandy amatuer holding her pussy open what
jessica is jessica
jessica is by mattbjorke
jessica is the bestest person in the world!
jessica is a bitch
jessica is a beautiful girl
jessica is engaging
jessica is a homosexual
jessica is pregnant? fact or fiction? there are rumors about that jessica is pregnant
jessica is posing in her gi
jessica is no23 in midweek uk charts
jessica is a freshman in college and is loving it
jessica is from chicago and is majoring in journalism with a second concentration in political science
jessica is a beautiful 12
jessica is never afraid to say hi to whomever crosses her path as she makes her way through her first year of middle school
jessica is a controversial sexy model and inspiring actress
jessica is a good student who has maintained a 3
jessica is an offbeat sophomore who tends to go out on the town a lot
jessica is just as picky with her men as she is grammar
jessica is a beautiful teen from illinois
jessica is sixteen years old and is waking up from a rough night of sleep
jessica is ready to throw in the towel when she comes across an intriguing personal ad in a newspaper
jessica is the best
jessica is a talented violin player and pianist
jessica is the total opposite
jessica is like a rocket ship headed for the stratosphere
jessica is an idiot
jessica is now a freshman in high school in ohio and is a normal teen with peer pressure
jessica is my best friend in hong kong
jessica is doing very well
jessica is interested in a relationship with another woman because she says she is
jessica is not a substitute for counseling
jessica is one of the principals of easton
jessica is decidedly uncomfortable with the conversation
jessica is always having a good time
jessica is about the trials and tribulations this little
jessica is well known at our post office and they all love her
jessica is sitting up and crawling
jessica is 20 months old
jessica is forced
jessica is a former 2001 world spirit federation
jessica is mesmerized by the virtual playground filled with stars from fantasy land movies and all the people at big burger
jessica is mesmerized by the virtual playground filled with stars from
jessica is to be taken to a secure hospital where prisoners sleep in locked metal
jessica is the best and i've seen her in a couple films
jessica is the youngest child of sam and grace bennett
jessica is also very involved with her church
jessica is a dir en grey's song
jessica is currently signed with columbia records
jessica is above all a hopeless perfectionist
jessica is willing to do whatever it takes to win
jessica is one of the top 5 showcase artists with adopt a band
jessica is very beautiful
jessica is also the marriage host and special education host
jessica is female
jessica is a native of dallas
jessica is kidnapped on the streets of portland
jessica is 11 lbs 7 oz
jessica is at the middleware level and is compatible with the standard jvm
jessica is one of the very few who have earned an ?exceptional? rating for their first
jessica is a twenty
jessica is seen with her family and friends
jessica is one of the smartest kids in the sixth grade
jessica is a mostly entertaining sit
jessica is creeped out by them
jessica is with her mother
jessica is not a real zombie
jessica is warming up
jessica is dying to find out the story behind joel and his 5
jessica is wearing a child's grey sweatshirt
ummm ok, all the stuff about anal sex, i am not.
noviembre 07, 2002
i've having a really rough time with humanity lately, mostly just because the optimist/idealist in me has a really hard time with the practical/realist part of me, coupled with the fact that i'm a very passionate person and i cant just read about these things and not become involved in them. which makes mantaining a stable mental state pretty hard when your studying how ppl are exploited and basically raped for all that they're worth (which according to capitalism is only what you make for the work, so if u work at Wendy's its $6.75/hr, sick huh?) and then some bc they're making more money off you than the $6.25 that they're paying you (but we all know that), so the farther that i get into the theory the more days than not that i come home and want to crawl into my bed, curl up in fetal position and cry. yesterday was pretty much me doing that. then i talked to andy for a while and he helped me snap out of that.
i'm just watching myself change throughout this semester. i can honestly say that i'm a better person now than i was in middle school or even high school. heck, i'm a better person now than i was at the begining of the semester. thats not to say that i dont truly admire the things that i did then, bc i think in my short lifetime i've accomplished some pretty gusty things. i had (and still have) a lot of confidence in what i'm capable of doing and what i'm worth as a human being, separate from the fact that society likes to beat down my throat that since i'm a minority, a woman, and an immigrant that i have no worth. but i never belived that, and that makes me be proud of myself. i like that. i also think it has a lot to do with the fact that i'm light enough to pass as being white, and as a result i do get a lot of priveleges from that (like not being followed when i go into saks to get to the other side of the galleria) that also makes me appreciate my parents and the amazing things that they've done for me so that i could become this way, so that i could come to this place and learn these amazing things. i'll spend the rest of my life trying to repay them for that.
which brings me to my message for y'all today. Love your parents. They are amazing amazing people, that have sacrified huge things for you. my mind can no longer comprehend the anger that i use to feel towards my parents, and i cant begin to understand why ppl feel the need to be disrespectful to their parents. they did the best that they could. no matter how they might have messed with ur psyche and hell they werent perfect, but they loved you. so be good to them, bc life is too fragile and you can never take for granted the time you have with them.
and thats my soap box. enjoy the new links on the side.
i'm just watching myself change throughout this semester. i can honestly say that i'm a better person now than i was in middle school or even high school. heck, i'm a better person now than i was at the begining of the semester. thats not to say that i dont truly admire the things that i did then, bc i think in my short lifetime i've accomplished some pretty gusty things. i had (and still have) a lot of confidence in what i'm capable of doing and what i'm worth as a human being, separate from the fact that society likes to beat down my throat that since i'm a minority, a woman, and an immigrant that i have no worth. but i never belived that, and that makes me be proud of myself. i like that. i also think it has a lot to do with the fact that i'm light enough to pass as being white, and as a result i do get a lot of priveleges from that (like not being followed when i go into saks to get to the other side of the galleria) that also makes me appreciate my parents and the amazing things that they've done for me so that i could become this way, so that i could come to this place and learn these amazing things. i'll spend the rest of my life trying to repay them for that.
which brings me to my message for y'all today. Love your parents. They are amazing amazing people, that have sacrified huge things for you. my mind can no longer comprehend the anger that i use to feel towards my parents, and i cant begin to understand why ppl feel the need to be disrespectful to their parents. they did the best that they could. no matter how they might have messed with ur psyche and hell they werent perfect, but they loved you. so be good to them, bc life is too fragile and you can never take for granted the time you have with them.
and thats my soap box. enjoy the new links on the side.
noviembre 05, 2002
u've probably seen this before
okay my feelings on this are that girls arent evil, they just can turn evil when u hurt them and then they do crazy things like murder ur children or set ur house on fire (some mythical story woman and left-eye lopez, respectably.)
yea yea i should be doing journals, but i cant go to bed until *after* the fire drill at 2am so yea. i have some time.
okay my feelings on this are that girls arent evil, they just can turn evil when u hurt them and then they do crazy things like murder ur children or set ur house on fire (some mythical story woman and left-eye lopez, respectably.)
yea yea i should be doing journals, but i cant go to bed until *after* the fire drill at 2am so yea. i have some time.
my entire women's studies class rebeled today. it all started when one girl named sarah wanted to talk about the amount of work that we have in this class. and it was an awkward thing like sitting there and talking to ur professor about how the amount of work that she is giving u is not humanly possible to do. and it was just nice to hear someone else talk about how ridiculous these damn journals that we have to do for her class are. and then from there to realize that everyone in the class hasnt done the journals and was struggling to get them all done and finished for class on thrusday. we spent the entire hr and 15 minutes talking about how this wasnt going to fly with us, and how we were too stressed and how we couldnt deal with it. we took a stand and we stood up for ourselves and it was wonderful. she pushed the deadline from this thrusday to next thrusday. i still have a 8pg letter/essay due on tuesday, and a global assembly line "in class" assigment 2pg paper thing (we're paired up in 2's and we're assigned some sort of commodity like i got technology and so i have to pick, like an intel chip and say where in the world it was made, like what factory in chinca was it made in), and then on thrusday its the journals and the action project proposal thing (my group is going to plaster the 5 college area in spoof ads)....so much so much.
oh and in italian today we were doing pronomi relativi and this girl in my class like couldnt get it, and like asked a question about it and my professor like went on this tangent about like how u have to think of italian verbs as having their own personalities and how u have to think of them as one of ur friends and so one, and didnt really answer her question. but at the end of class this girl like started crying on her way out. and i realized that there are some ppl that have much larger problems than me. and she is one of those ppl. i also realized that i have a very interesting way of handling stress and tons of work. i just dont worry about it. like its very odd the way my body comprehends that i have massive amounts of work, but i dont worry about it. like my italian composition, and my 18 journals that i still have to write, and my essay and my 14 reflection paragraph things, etc etc....its all gonna get done. like maybe an hr before i go to class i'll finish the assignment, but it will get done. and my essay and my assembly line crap will get done by saturday at 3ish when andy shows up. they just will. i have no other option. i'll stop bathing, sleeping, and eating actual meals to get it all accomplished but it will happen.
i'm so glad other ppl have much bigger problems than me. now if i only i could get my work done ahead of time.
oh and in italian today we were doing pronomi relativi and this girl in my class like couldnt get it, and like asked a question about it and my professor like went on this tangent about like how u have to think of italian verbs as having their own personalities and how u have to think of them as one of ur friends and so one, and didnt really answer her question. but at the end of class this girl like started crying on her way out. and i realized that there are some ppl that have much larger problems than me. and she is one of those ppl. i also realized that i have a very interesting way of handling stress and tons of work. i just dont worry about it. like its very odd the way my body comprehends that i have massive amounts of work, but i dont worry about it. like my italian composition, and my 18 journals that i still have to write, and my essay and my 14 reflection paragraph things, etc etc....its all gonna get done. like maybe an hr before i go to class i'll finish the assignment, but it will get done. and my essay and my assembly line crap will get done by saturday at 3ish when andy shows up. they just will. i have no other option. i'll stop bathing, sleeping, and eating actual meals to get it all accomplished but it will happen.
i'm so glad other ppl have much bigger problems than me. now if i only i could get my work done ahead of time.
noviembre 04, 2002
so i got my paper back from my econ class that i pulled out of my ass in like 4hrs before class and i got a AB+ on it. what that means really i dont know. i had to do some math to figuare out what the hell a 7.25 out of 8 meant. but then i figuared it out and realized that taking classes at Umass is a wonderful thing for my gpa. it means that i can perform less work that i would here at moho and get the same grade. now if i actually did all my readings for the class and put in the same amount of work....then i could rule the econ world. or something.
ok being productive again.
ok being productive again.
i remember last yr my sophmore friends would always talk about how wonderful it was to be a firstie and how u get all this cool stuff and then u have Dis O and u have all of this attention. i realized last night that i dont have time for that shit. i really dont. in between my classes, my friends, my room needing to be cleaned, between remebering to eat, andy, and trying to do well in my classes (as opposed to simply trying to not fail) i have no time for that kind of attention. i just dont. on that note, i need to control my time better, bc i'm getting really tired of always being late to italian, and not because i overslept but simply bc i was at my computer for too long and forgot to start getting ready for class until i was supposed to be at class.
so yea must control my time better. especially this week since my work for women's studies is going to try to kill me. ugh why is there so much to do.....so yea, hopefully little posting will let u know that i'm focusing and doing my damn journals. stupid journals.
so yea must control my time better. especially this week since my work for women's studies is going to try to kill me. ugh why is there so much to do.....so yea, hopefully little posting will let u know that i'm focusing and doing my damn journals. stupid journals.
noviembre 01, 2002
i love randomly ending up in boston. I mean i knew that i was coming here this weekend but I didnt realize that i would get here the way i did. so i'm sitting in anna's rm complaning about how my hair is entering the dangerous pre-pre mullet stage, where the back is growing at fast enough of a rate that eventually there *could* be a mullet. possibily. but one of my biggest fears is having a mullet. mostly bc i cant think of anything dirtier than a mullet. but yea, so i make an appointment at the hair place accross the street and the earliest that they can help me is at 2:30pm, which is an hr from them. i'm like alright good enough, i'm not leaving for boston until late tonight so that works. so i'm bitching about how sketch the girl who is giving me the ride is and ev is like "we can go to boston right now. i can make it back for my 9am class." at this point i have fallen in love with ev and pledged that i will do whatever it takes to keep that girl happy. whatever it takes.
so we anna skips a class and a rehersal and makes comes along to boston. i randomly call andy and let him know that we'll be there and thus i end up here.
highlights thus far:
*seeing andy
*inhaling a large plate of yummy thai food and scaring anna, ev, and andy
*getting yummy kahlua ice cream
*watching minority report
*seeing andy
ohh yea, and not being in south hadley anymore. yay for being out of the boondocks!
so we anna skips a class and a rehersal and makes comes along to boston. i randomly call andy and let him know that we'll be there and thus i end up here.
highlights thus far:
*seeing andy
*inhaling a large plate of yummy thai food and scaring anna, ev, and andy
*getting yummy kahlua ice cream
*watching minority report
*seeing andy
ohh yea, and not being in south hadley anymore. yay for being out of the boondocks!
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