i am not excited about summer. To me summer is something that needs to hurry up and finish so that I can see my boyfriend at the end of it. Summer is bittersweet, its hot and warm but at the same time its a large chunk of time where seeing/having any communication what so ever with andy is eratic, infrequent, sporatic, seldom...i think you get the point. This summer in particular is specially bittersweet bc I'm not excited about my research position,even though I'm sure it'll be way too much fun to get to spend weeks with Gabe watching movies and helping him write a book, but this will be the first time in my life that i spent my birthday alone, without my parents or even friends, and i know some people are used to this, but i've never had to do it before so i'm not. Birthdays arent a huge deal in my family, but they're a reason to have dinner and eat cake, add to that the fact that i doubt andy will be able to fly up to see me for my birthday since it falls on a tuesday and even becomes even more depressing...that was my pleasant thought on my hour and a half bus ride back from boston today, right after crying at having to watch andy wave goodbye and not being able to get off the bus and just stay with him...i hate leaving. i hate that whole day when i know that i have to go, or he has to go, its just becomes a thing where i try not to cry and just fail bc i keep thinking that i wont see him again for months....i really dont know how long it will be until i see him again, and honeslty i dont wanna sit down and count the days. i got back into my room and just started packing, because at this point the only thing that i'm looking foward to is seeing my parents, feeling the hot wonderful sun against my skin, and eating some pork chops, with lemon juice on top....yumm...

i went to a jazz club last night with andy, he told me i couldnt go in jeans so i had to spend the better part of my day finding something to wear bc when i left and asked him if i needed any heels or anything fancy he said no, so i bought myself a strapless black dress at the limited. Of course the couple we went with was in jeans and i was freezing (its still in the 50's here in the state that god forgot) so i used his jacket and andy was cold. umm the show itself...lets just say a third of it put me to sleep, the second third was just bizare (and no i'm ot kidding think dancers in tellytubby colored full body spandex suits and a creepy comedian doing his stand-up with jazz playing in the back) and the last third was really amazing and really good. Since i didnt pay for the ticket, I think it was alright. I was also overdressed and cold the whole night, and now own my second black strapless dress, i now have 3 solid black dresses....even i think thats odd.

oh and i also learned that Babylon 5 is a wondeful series, a large chunk of my visit with andy was spent watching this very addictive show, bc one of his roomates has the first and second sesson on DVD. I think we watched a part of the first and most of the second...i watched a lot of Babylon 5. This last visit with andy was really great, there was no fighting, no drama, no arguing, just a really pleasant fun time. ::sigh:: i'm gonna miss that boy.

but i get to see the Matrix at midnight, so that'll keep me going, and i take my final exam tomorrow morning and then i'm gone.