i had my self-defense simulation today, that was intense. Like they get u in like boxing padding, like on ur knees, elbows, hands, and like a giant helmet thing and then the men come in and they look like giant red robot men in all their padding, one of the guys is this HUGE black man named eddie who works as a police officer at the school and he's HUGE and so its really scary knowing that ur going to have to fight this giant black man off you.

so we do the first round, and none of want to go first, like she yanks someone out of line and they go, and my stomach is turning since i'm wondering what the hell I was thinking by signing up for this thing. in the first simulation we have to walk by them and go from one side of the room to the other. sound easy enough right? not so much when there's 3 grown men against you. i cant really remember that one too much, it was all adrenaling and punching them in the face and hitting them in the groin. The second simulation we have to pretend we're at the amherst bus stop, and like they start asking us what time it is and stuff, and its so funny cause u wanna start hitting them when they ask u what time it is. and with this simulation its two against one. I was kicking and fighting the whole time, it was intese, like my helmet was too tight for my head so between that and them yelling at me it was just a big rush. I was wearing this face mask thing and it was funny cause one of them grabbed me and since I'm only like 110lbs was like pulling me towards him, and so my reaction was to bite his arm, but like with his mask i couldnt do it. One of the girls, who was the smaller than me, like was attacked and the guy goes down and she like kicks him in the face, like they're under tons of padding (andy u should have seen the amount of padding that they had on their groins, u would have been pleased) and the guy is in pain. Its funny cause she's smaller than me. Umm the thrid one it was like at an atm and they like grab you from behind, and like i'm flying in the arm and their swinging me around, and i just start head butting them and like swinging my feet. I think all the horsing around with y'all has allowed me to perfect the art of getting out of that situation. and the final one was the really scary one, like all 3 surround u, and u have ur eyes closed and they start harashing u, and like saying things like "can u feel me on me?" "where u from little girl?" "what are u doing out so late?" things like that just like egging u on, and i was the third one to go, and i knew they were gonna grab u from behind and like try to get u on the ground so as soon as i got rid of the first one i just started running, and i'm little so i was able to like fake them out and pretend i was going one way and they just start bobbing and weaving thru them. they made me go back so that i would get attacked by all of them.

but anna was watching and she was telling me how funny it was to watch me like go thru that and the whole time I'm like punching these guys in the face like kicking them in the groin, like being vicious, and then i crossed the line where after that u were safe and then it was like "teehee." its so weird though, bc in that momment u cant think, ur just reacting and fighting. and now my groin kicking knee is red and hurting bc i kneed the shit out of those guys. I'm really glad i went thru that. i think i wanna do it again on monday just to get a better grasp on the other techniques. i kicked some butt today, i'm very proud of myself, y'all should be too. although i would now like to thank all of y'all for helping me reach this point where i can defend myself so well, bc if i had practiced fighting with y'all (brent, my bro, joser, lasu, charles) I wouldnt be nearly as prepared to defend myself. so thanks jonathan for trying to kill me on more than one occassion, it really did pay off in the long run. and brent, thanks for letting me practice my groin attacks the dumb fuck who tries to rape me will appreciate my expertise.

<---see those are the red suits
<---Melissa is in this picture (1st on left, bottom row)