Remember last week when I was simply happy to be alive giddy? Yea this is not that week. This is the week that is starting to snowball into something not at all pleasant. All of it really the result of my decision to interact with more human beings. People who I had carefully chosen to associate with because they seemed cool and anti-drama. Its not fun to misjudge people. And the thing is I want to just blog about it, because this exactly the kind of stuff that only happens to me and that makes me hate people. All people. But I used to like these people (well one of these people) so I wont talk about it here. But if I know you well enough ask me and I'll tell you a great story about a boy and a girl who knew other for years and were pretty good friends until one day when that boy decided to kill that girls puppy by ripping its little heart out and eating it. A heart warming story really.
Blah.
I found out where all the rich pretty black people hang out in Houston. That was pretty cool. Cooler still is that they make really yummy grilled cheese sandwiches there.
And thats all I got. Links:
* Interns? Bloggers need not apply.
* Nylon is one of my favorite magazines to buy and then ripe up and make into something else. Their full June/July issue is online, which makes them cooler still.
* The birthday calendar is a niffy little thing.
* So cute!
* Almost killing your neighbor is yet another reason you should never play with guns.
* oh and this is just cool.
* everyone loves al gore now.
mayo 25, 2006
mayo 23, 2006
My daddy, the feminist
Last night I added yet another reason to my gigantic list of why I love my daddy so much. We were test driving a car (my moms car committed suicide and we had to replace it asap) and impossibly horribly painfully bored. None of us know anything about cars, so its a pretty silly exercise to take a drive around in one to see how it drives. We were looking out the window and there was a mechanic school or something out the window and my daddy pointed at it and smiled at me. And I was like what? And he told me that when I was little he used to tell people that I was going to grow up to be a race car driver. Then he corrected himself and said "no a race car engineer, there the ones that actually win the races." Which made me smile to think of my daddy telling people that his tiny little curly haired girl was going to grow up to be a race car engineer. It actually doesn't sound like a bad idea. And who knows if the whole writing thing or helping people thing doesn't work out it may just be worth checking it out.
* Speaking of feminism, the word "feminism" and being a "feminist" have a lot of very negative associations with it. When I meet people and I tell them that I'm very liberal and went to a women's college there's always that moment and look of fright when they ask me if I'm a "feminist." Always in a hushed tone like if they're asking me if I like to fuck dead people or kick puppies. Mostly when I'm meeting strangers I'm drinking, since I hate strangers and I'm just not in the mood to put them in their place. So I normally offer a lame retort to assure them that this doesn't mean that I'm some kind of man-hater, but that's just acting like there is some truth to this stereotype. When there really isn't. And besides which I do hate men sometimes, but its never all men its always just one particular asshole who is pissing me off at the moment. I hate women too. More of the time actually, since I'm much more offended by female stupidity than male stupidity. The point is sometimes feminist hate people, but that isn't because they are feminist (well except for Mr. 29% I'm pretty sure my feminism is a huge reason why I hate him) its because they're human. And human beings hate people sometimes. Anyways this article from Salon discusses why young women in particular dislike the term and if the word doesn't need to be replaced. I don't think it does, but then again I have no problem scaring off men in bars. Here's a little excerpt:
* You have got to be kidding me! Botox being use to treat depression?
* You must must must watch this commercial. Via my bro who reads the entire internet while your busy sleeping. Silly mortals.
* Do you ever feel like your cigarette smoke is bothering your pigs? If so this is for you. via apartmenttherapy
* Speaking of feminism, the word "feminism" and being a "feminist" have a lot of very negative associations with it. When I meet people and I tell them that I'm very liberal and went to a women's college there's always that moment and look of fright when they ask me if I'm a "feminist." Always in a hushed tone like if they're asking me if I like to fuck dead people or kick puppies. Mostly when I'm meeting strangers I'm drinking, since I hate strangers and I'm just not in the mood to put them in their place. So I normally offer a lame retort to assure them that this doesn't mean that I'm some kind of man-hater, but that's just acting like there is some truth to this stereotype. When there really isn't. And besides which I do hate men sometimes, but its never all men its always just one particular asshole who is pissing me off at the moment. I hate women too. More of the time actually, since I'm much more offended by female stupidity than male stupidity. The point is sometimes feminist hate people, but that isn't because they are feminist (well except for Mr. 29% I'm pretty sure my feminism is a huge reason why I hate him) its because they're human. And human beings hate people sometimes. Anyways this article from Salon discusses why young women in particular dislike the term and if the word doesn't need to be replaced. I don't think it does, but then again I have no problem scaring off men in bars. Here's a little excerpt:
Gandy said that membership in her organization [National Organization for Women] is bigger than ever. "Eighty percent of people in the United States, based on what they think now about pay equity and domestic violence, would have been considered total feminists had they felt that way 30 years ago. And the women's rights movement is living in our daughters every single day. Whether or not they consider themselves feminists."
* You have got to be kidding me! Botox being use to treat depression?
* You must must must watch this commercial. Via my bro who reads the entire internet while your busy sleeping. Silly mortals.
* Do you ever feel like your cigarette smoke is bothering your pigs? If so this is for you. via apartmenttherapy
mayo 22, 2006
when mohos attack
I'm so impossibly excited for my birthday you have no idea. I had a really good birthday last year. So there's built in excitement of it being my birthday and celebrating making it another year. But to make this birthday even more exciting my friends are coming to visit me! So its going to be a mini moho reunion! I've been trying to get my friends to come to Texas, because I think Texas is a magical place that needs to be shared with people and since my birthday is on a Saturday its perfect for people to fly in and hang out and then go back to their responsible young adult lifestyle. Plus I am in some desperate need for some estrogen in my life. Not that men aren't lovely creatures in all, but some times you just want to have a pillow fight in your pjs, you know what I mean?
Soooo looking forward to July you have no idea. I've already started thinking of all the places I have to take them and how impossibly sloashed we're going to get! yay!
Ok here are the links to keep your case of the Mondays down to a minimum:
* Having run out of more serious things to report on the NY Times brings in this breaking style news of black toilet paper.
* Wow. If I had a dog I don't think I'd ever leave him with this woman. But I don't know maybe she's a lovely human being? She must be.
* Is Tyra Banks racist? Slate tries to figure it out.
* A long but interesting interview with Clotaire Rapaille about his new book "The Culture Code" which compares the core codes or stereotypes of different cultures. He says some pretty interesting stuff in the article. Here's a little bit:
* If you feel like using your brain there's always this, an interesting and thought provoking article about immigration from the San Francisco Chronicle.
* A collection of drawings done by an artist while he was on lcd.
* This video is so zen. I'm afraid though if I tell you what it is though you wont watch it, but you have to watch it, because you'll watch it and be sucked into it. Its almost hypnotic. So yea go watch it. Its short. Its zen. Its funny.
* Well this video is frightening. Its a sex ed video from planned parenthood. Its a cartoon. There are talking genitalia acting as hosts for a talk show. Its so frightening, so funny, and yet I learned something. So you should watch it, just not around people you don't want them to think your weird for watching a cartoon with a talking penis in a suit. via feministing.
Soooo looking forward to July you have no idea. I've already started thinking of all the places I have to take them and how impossibly sloashed we're going to get! yay!
Ok here are the links to keep your case of the Mondays down to a minimum:
* Having run out of more serious things to report on the NY Times brings in this breaking style news of black toilet paper.
* Wow. If I had a dog I don't think I'd ever leave him with this woman. But I don't know maybe she's a lovely human being? She must be.
* Is Tyra Banks racist? Slate tries to figure it out.
* A long but interesting interview with Clotaire Rapaille about his new book "The Culture Code" which compares the core codes or stereotypes of different cultures. He says some pretty interesting stuff in the article. Here's a little bit:
What do you think about the rise of Christian fundamentalism?
Religion in America is Disney World. We're not really serious about it the way the Muslims are. We just want some rituals, we have so many different brands of religion. We like the stories about it and talking about what they say and don't say. It's little stories for children. When in Kansas they try to stop the teaching of evolution, it's like at Disney World. If you are in the Mickey Mouse costume, the rule is that you never take off your mask. You're not supposed to show in public that there is a real guy under the mask. That's religion in America; let the people keep their illusions. Don't show the reality.
Now, because we are adolescent, we like to take things to extremes: extreme sports, extreme everything. Moderation is boring -- eating in moderation? No way. So we apply that to religion, too, religious extremism.
* If you feel like using your brain there's always this, an interesting and thought provoking article about immigration from the San Francisco Chronicle.
* A collection of drawings done by an artist while he was on lcd.
* This video is so zen. I'm afraid though if I tell you what it is though you wont watch it, but you have to watch it, because you'll watch it and be sucked into it. Its almost hypnotic. So yea go watch it. Its short. Its zen. Its funny.
* Well this video is frightening. Its a sex ed video from planned parenthood. Its a cartoon. There are talking genitalia acting as hosts for a talk show. Its so frightening, so funny, and yet I learned something. So you should watch it, just not around people you don't want them to think your weird for watching a cartoon with a talking penis in a suit. via feministing.
mayo 21, 2006
fools like me
The last two days have been a long series of a phenomenon known as the flutterjinx. The flutterjinx is a concept much too complicated to explain so suffice it to say you do not want the flutterjinx anywhere near you. The flutterjinx however surrounds me and now leaves me here writing this at 11am on a Sunday morning still a bit tipsy from last night. Because the last two days went so horribly wrong that I decided the only way to balance out the good to bad ratio would be to take 4 shots [3 big reds and something ingeniously called an abortion] + an amaretto sour + the strongest drink known to man in a 2 1/2 hr period. On an empty stomach.
Why were the last 2 days so bad? please let me tell you in list form:
1. Friday afternoonish my mom's car overheated and stalled while I was about a block from her job. I had just gotten off the freeway so it could have died while I was actually on the freeway and then I would have died and been a byline in the chronicle, "22 year old woman crushed to death by 18 wheeler on 610 N". Thankfully, I'm cute and was a genius and wore a little skirt so some impossibly nice man who looked exactly like cee-lo pushed my car into a gas station, did stuff to my car, explained everything he did to my car while calling me mami, and kept the creepy old mexican men away from me until my mom showed up. I'd like to take a moment to thank the patriarchy for having this man feel the need to rescue me. Thanks P! You almost made up for trying to take away my rights. Almost.
2. We rode with the tow truck driver (also an impossibly nice man) to the dealership were my mom proceeded to rip the owner of the dealership a new one. This took 2 hours. I was starving. I was bored. It was hot. We finally get in the loaner car, and it wont start. I then proceed to start laughing hysterically because obviously the universe hates me. It then started and all order returned to the world, but by then it was so late and I was so hungry that I had lost all interest in leaving my house and interacting with other human beings.
3. The next day we go to the Dynamo game. Its at 3pm. There is no shade. Houston at 3pm on a clear sunny day makes the surface of the sun seem cool and breezy. So it was a billion degrees. And the big guys sitting in front of me blocked my view. And the game was awful. I sat through a 90 minute game in a billion degree weather sitting on aluminum seats, and we lost the game. I wanted to cry it was so horrible. And now I'm sunburned and have a weird tan. Because I am an idiot who didn't wear sunscreen.
4. I sat through an improv show at a comedy club. Why did I go to a comedy club? Because I am an idiot and as such was punished severely for even thinking for a brief passing moment that a comedy club could be anything other than hell. Not only did I go to a comedy club but I rushed home from the game showered, straightened my hair, got pretty, and skipped dinner so that I wouldn't be late. To a comedy show. Yea. I'm an idiot.
5. I then went to a bbq in the middle of who knows where downtown with a bunch of people I didn't know because by that point my day was not shitty enough and I just wanted to push it over the edge. I could have just pulled a Punxsutawney Phil, seen my shadow and gone back into my hole, but nooooo I hate having a good time. I hate having a good time so much that I will go out of my way to ensure that I walk right into my #1 least favorite scenario ever: walking into a party already in progress where everyone knows one another but you. For added kicks though I decided to go with a guy who likes to pretend he doesn't know me every other week and drank a coke because the only options were beer and some unidentifiable punch. So I sat there in full sobriety and embraced the complete awkwardness of being the new girl who is completely overdressed because she thought she was going to a club tonight, not a bbq with a bunch of hipsters and who knows absolutely no one and hates strangers.
I stayed for about 30 minutes and then bolted. I literally ran out the door and to my car. I nearly impaled someone with the heel of my super strappy shoes, my excitement was so great for getting the hell out of there.
And then I drank. A lot. Because I can only take so many bad stupid things happening before I start feeling like the universe hates me and I need to go hide under the covers until the bad juju passes. I didn't hide though. I drank. And bitched and whined and moaned until the delicious shots killed my brain and then I exploded into a fit of giggles. And had an entire conversation about anal sex and anal beads and why I wish I was into women but sadly am not. And then I got home at 5 something in the morning. Which of course made my mommy love me even more.
Why were the last 2 days so bad? please let me tell you in list form:
1. Friday afternoonish my mom's car overheated and stalled while I was about a block from her job. I had just gotten off the freeway so it could have died while I was actually on the freeway and then I would have died and been a byline in the chronicle, "22 year old woman crushed to death by 18 wheeler on 610 N". Thankfully, I'm cute and was a genius and wore a little skirt so some impossibly nice man who looked exactly like cee-lo pushed my car into a gas station, did stuff to my car, explained everything he did to my car while calling me mami, and kept the creepy old mexican men away from me until my mom showed up. I'd like to take a moment to thank the patriarchy for having this man feel the need to rescue me. Thanks P! You almost made up for trying to take away my rights. Almost.
2. We rode with the tow truck driver (also an impossibly nice man) to the dealership were my mom proceeded to rip the owner of the dealership a new one. This took 2 hours. I was starving. I was bored. It was hot. We finally get in the loaner car, and it wont start. I then proceed to start laughing hysterically because obviously the universe hates me. It then started and all order returned to the world, but by then it was so late and I was so hungry that I had lost all interest in leaving my house and interacting with other human beings.
3. The next day we go to the Dynamo game. Its at 3pm. There is no shade. Houston at 3pm on a clear sunny day makes the surface of the sun seem cool and breezy. So it was a billion degrees. And the big guys sitting in front of me blocked my view. And the game was awful. I sat through a 90 minute game in a billion degree weather sitting on aluminum seats, and we lost the game. I wanted to cry it was so horrible. And now I'm sunburned and have a weird tan. Because I am an idiot who didn't wear sunscreen.
4. I sat through an improv show at a comedy club. Why did I go to a comedy club? Because I am an idiot and as such was punished severely for even thinking for a brief passing moment that a comedy club could be anything other than hell. Not only did I go to a comedy club but I rushed home from the game showered, straightened my hair, got pretty, and skipped dinner so that I wouldn't be late. To a comedy show. Yea. I'm an idiot.
5. I then went to a bbq in the middle of who knows where downtown with a bunch of people I didn't know because by that point my day was not shitty enough and I just wanted to push it over the edge. I could have just pulled a Punxsutawney Phil, seen my shadow and gone back into my hole, but nooooo I hate having a good time. I hate having a good time so much that I will go out of my way to ensure that I walk right into my #1 least favorite scenario ever: walking into a party already in progress where everyone knows one another but you. For added kicks though I decided to go with a guy who likes to pretend he doesn't know me every other week and drank a coke because the only options were beer and some unidentifiable punch. So I sat there in full sobriety and embraced the complete awkwardness of being the new girl who is completely overdressed because she thought she was going to a club tonight, not a bbq with a bunch of hipsters and who knows absolutely no one and hates strangers.
I stayed for about 30 minutes and then bolted. I literally ran out the door and to my car. I nearly impaled someone with the heel of my super strappy shoes, my excitement was so great for getting the hell out of there.
And then I drank. A lot. Because I can only take so many bad stupid things happening before I start feeling like the universe hates me and I need to go hide under the covers until the bad juju passes. I didn't hide though. I drank. And bitched and whined and moaned until the delicious shots killed my brain and then I exploded into a fit of giggles. And had an entire conversation about anal sex and anal beads and why I wish I was into women but sadly am not. And then I got home at 5 something in the morning. Which of course made my mommy love me even more.
mayo 18, 2006
::fresca::
The problem with having gone to moho (besides the gigantic soul crushing loans that I have to pay off) is that all alums are impossibly brilliant, so that when I read the class notes I end up feeling like a loser because I don't have a Fulbright and didn't spend my vacation traveling through Europe before starting my graduate studies at Oxford. Of course I know there are people besides me who are working in coffee shops or dropping out of law school or getting knocked up, but they don't write in so instead I have to read about someone's' awesome PhD program.
Yara and I always wanted to write in impossibly funny notes about how we were having a double wedding while 8 months pregnant, but I don't think either of us could actually go through with it. Everyone reads the class notes, or at least skims them, and there's no way I'd like anyone to actually believe that I was involved in a shotgun wedding while 8mths pregnant unless it was followed up by the announcement that my first book had just been published.
I think class notes in general give the wrong impression about what's going on with alums because unless its a death announcement all that people are sharing is the good news. And after you graduate not everything is good. People end up in crummy jobs or with shitty roommates or move someplace and know absolutely no one or hate their jobs or their dogs or their girlfriends. Like there should be a balance between the impossibly good news and all the other stuff. Like this couple who you saw everywhere on campus for 4 yrs broke up but its okay because they're sharing custody of the kitten. Then reading the class notes would be more inclusive and more people would want to write in and a real experience would be documented not just the impossible good news that eventually fade into reality.
And that's all I have to say about that, here are some lovely links:
* Impossibly beautiful dolls. via boingboing
* Reason #317 why I'm not on myspace.
* If books make you hot, then this list is for you.
* Why it takes Wes Anderson so long to make a movie.
* Do ninjas love? This video has the answer.
* Go here and vote for Gabrielle M. who wants her softball field to not be littered with rocks. A simple request really. via broadsheet (of course)
Yara and I always wanted to write in impossibly funny notes about how we were having a double wedding while 8 months pregnant, but I don't think either of us could actually go through with it. Everyone reads the class notes, or at least skims them, and there's no way I'd like anyone to actually believe that I was involved in a shotgun wedding while 8mths pregnant unless it was followed up by the announcement that my first book had just been published.
I think class notes in general give the wrong impression about what's going on with alums because unless its a death announcement all that people are sharing is the good news. And after you graduate not everything is good. People end up in crummy jobs or with shitty roommates or move someplace and know absolutely no one or hate their jobs or their dogs or their girlfriends. Like there should be a balance between the impossibly good news and all the other stuff. Like this couple who you saw everywhere on campus for 4 yrs broke up but its okay because they're sharing custody of the kitten. Then reading the class notes would be more inclusive and more people would want to write in and a real experience would be documented not just the impossible good news that eventually fade into reality.
And that's all I have to say about that, here are some lovely links:
* Impossibly beautiful dolls. via boingboing
* Reason #317 why I'm not on myspace.
* If books make you hot, then this list is for you.
* Why it takes Wes Anderson so long to make a movie.
* Do ninjas love? This video has the answer.
* Go here and vote for Gabrielle M. who wants her softball field to not be littered with rocks. A simple request really. via broadsheet (of course)
mayo 16, 2006
stupid boys
So far this week is going really well. Its beautiful here in Texas today. The sky is so blue and the clouds are fluffy and white. The sun is shining. And I woke up in an impossibly good mood. So good in fact that as I was driving around today the traffic didn't bother me and I wasn't cutting anyone off on the freeway. I didn't even flick off that Hummer I saw with the W in 04' sticker (seriously though? guy driving the hummer we already know your an asshole you drive a hummer its obvious but a Bush sticker on top of that? are you trying to make sure you get a nice seat in hell?)
Its a good day. And for no reason really. Nothing out of the ordinary has happened today. And yet I feel impossibly good. Like just happy to be alive good. And that's normally much too sappy for me. But then it dawned on me. I'm back to normal. I'm better than normal, I'm me again. Somewhere in those 8 months in Erie I stopped believing that good days were even possible. Everyday was exactly like the day before. The best part of my day was roasting a garlic and herb chicken. But that tiny high would just fade when I sat down to eat it alone. Because the best part of cooking is seeing the pleasure on someone else's face from eating your food. Its the sharing, that's the best part.
And now I'm home. I'm really home. A month ago I was in Erie. A year ago I was graduating and taking tequila shots. A year has come and gone and now I'm just glad to be back and wondering what's wrong with me for ever wanting to leave Texas. 80 degree days are what make me happy. Good Mexican food. Being able to have lunch with my Daddy on a Tuesday just because I can.
Not everything is perfect. I haven't completely gone off my meds don't worry. I'm just happy. The end.
I have a ton of links to share with you so lets get to it:
* Apparently animals have problems too via my bro
* Its about time that science and alcohol were brought together to made the world a better place.
* How to eat more meals at home (even if you don't know how to cook)
* This is one of those things that's so not safe to open at work or around small children or the elderly, well maybe the elderly wouldnt really be able to decipher whets going on so that might be ok. Before you think I troll around the internet looking for this stuff just know that I found it here.
* Umm yea how to describe this...umm its the most beautifully designed dildo you'll ever see in your life. Until like a week from now when they come out with a prettier Scandinavian model. via apartmenttherapy the only site where you can find a beautiful eames chair next to a dildo.
* New evidence White House influenced FDA on Plan B. I wish I wasn't so jaded with this administration that things like this stopped shocking me, its like of course they interfered with the FDA because their political loons. Duh that's what they do on Mondays.
* This interview with Jessica Valenti of feministing fame makes me wish I was into women. Alas it was not meant to be. Here's my favorite quote from the interview:
Its a good day. And for no reason really. Nothing out of the ordinary has happened today. And yet I feel impossibly good. Like just happy to be alive good. And that's normally much too sappy for me. But then it dawned on me. I'm back to normal. I'm better than normal, I'm me again. Somewhere in those 8 months in Erie I stopped believing that good days were even possible. Everyday was exactly like the day before. The best part of my day was roasting a garlic and herb chicken. But that tiny high would just fade when I sat down to eat it alone. Because the best part of cooking is seeing the pleasure on someone else's face from eating your food. Its the sharing, that's the best part.
And now I'm home. I'm really home. A month ago I was in Erie. A year ago I was graduating and taking tequila shots. A year has come and gone and now I'm just glad to be back and wondering what's wrong with me for ever wanting to leave Texas. 80 degree days are what make me happy. Good Mexican food. Being able to have lunch with my Daddy on a Tuesday just because I can.
Not everything is perfect. I haven't completely gone off my meds don't worry. I'm just happy. The end.
I have a ton of links to share with you so lets get to it:
* Apparently animals have problems too via my bro
* Its about time that science and alcohol were brought together to made the world a better place.
* How to eat more meals at home (even if you don't know how to cook)
* This is one of those things that's so not safe to open at work or around small children or the elderly, well maybe the elderly wouldnt really be able to decipher whets going on so that might be ok. Before you think I troll around the internet looking for this stuff just know that I found it here.
* Umm yea how to describe this...umm its the most beautifully designed dildo you'll ever see in your life. Until like a week from now when they come out with a prettier Scandinavian model. via apartmenttherapy the only site where you can find a beautiful eames chair next to a dildo.
* New evidence White House influenced FDA on Plan B. I wish I wasn't so jaded with this administration that things like this stopped shocking me, its like of course they interfered with the FDA because their political loons. Duh that's what they do on Mondays.
* This interview with Jessica Valenti of feministing fame makes me wish I was into women. Alas it was not meant to be. Here's my favorite quote from the interview:
Speaking of Bush, you once wrote a post called "why I don't fuck republicans." Does one have to be a Democrat to be a feminist? How else has your feminist politics affected your personal and dating life?
I have a shirt that has that slogan, too. Though I would probably have to put another message on the back of it that says: “ . . . anymore.” I’ve been Republican free for years though, so I figure I’m good. Kind of like a second-virginity thing. I guess anyone can call themselves a feminist. But I’m pretty far left and I find most Republicans scummy. Sorry, I just do. And I think that if you believe in certain things—like being pro-choice for example—you just can’t date someone who believes in an ideology that creates legislation that effectively says your body belongs to the state. So yeah, my feminism has definitely affected my personal life! It’s not something I can separate myself from at the end of the work day—it’s always with me.
My sister and I used to joke that the best way to get a guy to stop bothering you at a bar was tell him you were doing your Masters thesis on post-colonial feminist theory. It totally works. Whenever I used to meet a guy and tell him that I was basically a professional feminist, the initial reaction was usually uncomfortable laughter. Or “you don’t look like a feminist!” Some guys find the idea of dating a feminist kind of a novelty thing, though. Then after a couple of months they’re like, “Seriously—where’s my dinner?”
mayo 14, 2006
el tiempo y su velocidad
My weekend was awesome. From start to finish awesome. I haven't had a weekend that good in a really long time. Too long in fact. It started Friday with the arrival of my blowdryer along with the added surprise of a rainbow pinata. And it just kept getting better from there. The weekend was in fact so good that now looking back on it I don't completely believe it was real.
Lets see highlights included going to the oldest bar in downtown Houston, inside of a tiny little building, so impossibly narrow that there was only enough room between the bar and the tables for one person to go in one at a time. The place was decorated with random oil paintings the only light was from candles that were placed inside beer mugs. It was quiet enough that you could actually hold a conversation, but still had really good music playing in the background. It was the complete opposite to the ultra trendy clubs we go to normally.
There was also a sing along in the car to Julieta Venegas, which is now forever embedded in my brain. And an impossibly good milkshake, which I think was made better by the fact that I was eating it at 2am. And a really nice dinner with my dad at a seafood place.
So yea. I hope this means this week will also be really good. That's the hope at least. And now links:
* I'm fascinated by Lindsay Lohan and strippers. I dont think thats a coincidence.
* This pepsi commercial is super cute, mostly because it involves soccer players.
* Is the hassle of getting your room ready for so many parties wearing you down? MIT students have solved this problem for you. Oh and you must watch the video. You must. Your life will not be complete unless you do.
* I once accidently went on a date with this guy who took me to test motorcycles. It was so absurd and so obviously meant to impress me that I actually humored him and pretended to be enjoying myself. I wasnt though, because I'm not impressed by stupidity but scientist are now saying that stupidity is why women live longer than men.
* So cute!
* Is this really neccessary?
* How to learn difficult subjects quickly.
and thats all I've got.
Lets see highlights included going to the oldest bar in downtown Houston, inside of a tiny little building, so impossibly narrow that there was only enough room between the bar and the tables for one person to go in one at a time. The place was decorated with random oil paintings the only light was from candles that were placed inside beer mugs. It was quiet enough that you could actually hold a conversation, but still had really good music playing in the background. It was the complete opposite to the ultra trendy clubs we go to normally.
There was also a sing along in the car to Julieta Venegas, which is now forever embedded in my brain. And an impossibly good milkshake, which I think was made better by the fact that I was eating it at 2am. And a really nice dinner with my dad at a seafood place.
So yea. I hope this means this week will also be really good. That's the hope at least. And now links:
* I'm fascinated by Lindsay Lohan and strippers. I dont think thats a coincidence.
* This pepsi commercial is super cute, mostly because it involves soccer players.
* Is the hassle of getting your room ready for so many parties wearing you down? MIT students have solved this problem for you. Oh and you must watch the video. You must. Your life will not be complete unless you do.
* I once accidently went on a date with this guy who took me to test motorcycles. It was so absurd and so obviously meant to impress me that I actually humored him and pretended to be enjoying myself. I wasnt though, because I'm not impressed by stupidity but scientist are now saying that stupidity is why women live longer than men.
* So cute!
* Is this really neccessary?
* How to learn difficult subjects quickly.
and thats all I've got.
mayo 11, 2006
Frostys make everything better
Its a beautiful spring day in Houston, 80 degree high, sunny, clear blue sky, a nice light breeze and on my way home today I saw a man get jumped by two men. I was driving down Westpark, drinking a Frosty, waiting at the light and something on the other side of the street under the overpass catch my eye. I wasn't completely sure what was going on, until I realized that I was looking at a man being held down on the ground, as one man held him down while the other one punched him. Of course, I'm still in shock and start to look at the other cars to see if anyone else notices what's going on or if this is just some strange hallucination. The light changes and cars keep going pass them and no one is doing anything so it could just be that I'm the only one who notices.
Like the complete genius that I am I got out of my lane and into the left turn lane and just sat there at the red light thinking that someone needs to bear witness, and I guess its going to be me. As I'm waiting at the light one of the men grabs a large stick and starts to come towards the man on the ground and I start to wonder if I'm going to watch a man get killed. At this point my brain is working both very quickly and very slowly. I can't do anything, since I'm stuck at the light, but at the same time my mind is racing trying to determine if the appropriate response is to call the police or roll down my window and yell at them to stop. I start looking around to see if there are any cops. Of course there are never any cops when you need them. So I sit there. And stare as the man gets punched and dragged around some more. And suck on my Frosty because its delicious and what else am I supposed to do I'm stuck at the light watching a man get pummeled.
Right before the light turns green though I realize that if I try to stop this beating all by myself, I'll probably get hurt. Which wouldn't help anyone but might attract more attention and get the cops here faster. So now I have no plan, I don't think their actually killing the man so I cant justify calling 911, and I cant get out of my car because that's just as invitation to get stabbed by a random group of men under an overpass. So I just keep drinking my Frosty.
As I make the turn I slow down to get a better look the 2 men get off the man and walk away, kinda like nothing happened, until the other man starts to throw karate kicks at the main man who was beating him. So I keep driving and make a u-turn making sure to come back the same way so I can watch them some more. The situation seems to have resolved itself, some what. The man appears to be fine, he's not bleeding or limping, he's walking around throwing karate kicks, and while one of the men is still holding a big stick he's no longer threatening the karate kicking man with it. So I continue on my way home, like nothing ever happened but still wondering what the hell it was that I just witnessed.
I'm still not completely what the appropriate response would have been. I'm a little disturbed that I watched a man get punched around and my response was to sit there on suck on a Frosty, but then again at least I didn't just keep on driving like I didn't see anything at all.
Yea that was weird. Here are the links that I deemed amusing enough to share with you:
* The best article I'd read about Kaavya Viswanathan. You should read it. Even if your tired of talking about her, because it puts her inside the larger context of super achieving kids and whatnot.
* Apparently kids lying about being virgins is news. Who knew?
* An ode to birth control. There's also this news about the 30% of German women who are childless by choice, another ode to birth control in a way. Personally I think its awesome, minus the fact that when you sample college educated German women 40% chose not to have children. Which leaves conservative religious folks not using birth control and knocking people up all over the place and leads to George W. being elected and me having to move to Cuba where there universal health care but no toilet paper.
* "The Bith Soccer Month Abnormality." Soccer stars' birthdays are typically at the beginning of the year (January through March). The reason? Practice more than innate talent makes people better at stuff, and kids born in the beginning of the year are normally picked more often for teams because they're bigger than their punnier peers who were born in the later months. This is good news for all of us because it means we can learn to be good at things even if we dont seem to have a knack for it.
* There's a war on porn. First those silly Jews and now this? Where's Bill O'Reilly when you actually need him? (Best part of the story though is the guy was dressed up as a ninja when he burned down the porn store. Who knew ninjas were working for the lord?)
* This is one of those articles you read, and afterwards you feel sad, but better for having read it. Its about women in the 50's and 60's who were unwed and pregnant and forced to give up their kids. Sad stuff, but worth reading since this country seems to want to regress back to the good ol' days where people lied about having sex and hid pregnant unwed mothers away and forced them to give up their kids.
* Why your college major wont determine you getting a super sweet job. via lifehacker
* Yesterday I mentioned this article that essentially blamed erectile disfunction in young men on horny young women, but didnt provide a direct link cause I was feeling lazy. Here it is though. You should read it and then read this wonderful counterpoint to it from Salon. Something else that bothers me about the article was this passage:
Couldn't it just be that 15 yrs ago society was a wee bit different and men didnt want to talk to anyone about having problems in bed? Or that expectations for awesome sexual performance were not as pronounced? That might have something to do with it. Maybe. Or maybe this woman is right and willing, vocal, young women are the biggest turnoff of all.
Like the complete genius that I am I got out of my lane and into the left turn lane and just sat there at the red light thinking that someone needs to bear witness, and I guess its going to be me. As I'm waiting at the light one of the men grabs a large stick and starts to come towards the man on the ground and I start to wonder if I'm going to watch a man get killed. At this point my brain is working both very quickly and very slowly. I can't do anything, since I'm stuck at the light, but at the same time my mind is racing trying to determine if the appropriate response is to call the police or roll down my window and yell at them to stop. I start looking around to see if there are any cops. Of course there are never any cops when you need them. So I sit there. And stare as the man gets punched and dragged around some more. And suck on my Frosty because its delicious and what else am I supposed to do I'm stuck at the light watching a man get pummeled.
Right before the light turns green though I realize that if I try to stop this beating all by myself, I'll probably get hurt. Which wouldn't help anyone but might attract more attention and get the cops here faster. So now I have no plan, I don't think their actually killing the man so I cant justify calling 911, and I cant get out of my car because that's just as invitation to get stabbed by a random group of men under an overpass. So I just keep drinking my Frosty.
As I make the turn I slow down to get a better look the 2 men get off the man and walk away, kinda like nothing happened, until the other man starts to throw karate kicks at the main man who was beating him. So I keep driving and make a u-turn making sure to come back the same way so I can watch them some more. The situation seems to have resolved itself, some what. The man appears to be fine, he's not bleeding or limping, he's walking around throwing karate kicks, and while one of the men is still holding a big stick he's no longer threatening the karate kicking man with it. So I continue on my way home, like nothing ever happened but still wondering what the hell it was that I just witnessed.
I'm still not completely what the appropriate response would have been. I'm a little disturbed that I watched a man get punched around and my response was to sit there on suck on a Frosty, but then again at least I didn't just keep on driving like I didn't see anything at all.
Yea that was weird. Here are the links that I deemed amusing enough to share with you:
* The best article I'd read about Kaavya Viswanathan. You should read it. Even if your tired of talking about her, because it puts her inside the larger context of super achieving kids and whatnot.
* Apparently kids lying about being virgins is news. Who knew?
* An ode to birth control. There's also this news about the 30% of German women who are childless by choice, another ode to birth control in a way. Personally I think its awesome, minus the fact that when you sample college educated German women 40% chose not to have children. Which leaves conservative religious folks not using birth control and knocking people up all over the place and leads to George W. being elected and me having to move to Cuba where there universal health care but no toilet paper.
* "The Bith Soccer Month Abnormality." Soccer stars' birthdays are typically at the beginning of the year (January through March). The reason? Practice more than innate talent makes people better at stuff, and kids born in the beginning of the year are normally picked more often for teams because they're bigger than their punnier peers who were born in the later months. This is good news for all of us because it means we can learn to be good at things even if we dont seem to have a knack for it.
* There's a war on porn. First those silly Jews and now this? Where's Bill O'Reilly when you actually need him? (Best part of the story though is the guy was dressed up as a ninja when he burned down the porn store. Who knew ninjas were working for the lord?)
* This is one of those articles you read, and afterwards you feel sad, but better for having read it. Its about women in the 50's and 60's who were unwed and pregnant and forced to give up their kids. Sad stuff, but worth reading since this country seems to want to regress back to the good ol' days where people lied about having sex and hid pregnant unwed mothers away and forced them to give up their kids.
* Why your college major wont determine you getting a super sweet job. via lifehacker
* Yesterday I mentioned this article that essentially blamed erectile disfunction in young men on horny young women, but didnt provide a direct link cause I was feeling lazy. Here it is though. You should read it and then read this wonderful counterpoint to it from Salon. Something else that bothers me about the article was this passage:
Keith Brodie, former chairman of the psychiatry department at Duke University, has been counseling male college students for 25 years. Fifteen years ago, none of his patients complained about having problems in bed. Now, he hears about them from as many as a quarter of them.
Couldn't it just be that 15 yrs ago society was a wee bit different and men didnt want to talk to anyone about having problems in bed? Or that expectations for awesome sexual performance were not as pronounced? That might have something to do with it. Maybe. Or maybe this woman is right and willing, vocal, young women are the biggest turnoff of all.
mayo 10, 2006
Like cutting through butter
So Britney Spears is pregnant. Personally I think its great. There are far too many over-achievers out there, having stable awesome careers and marriages. Britney however is not afraid of fucking up her life. Instead she has decided that she will make as many mistakes as she wants to, thank you very much. And for that I have to say thank you Britney Spears for screwing your multi-million dollar career, it is when I look at you that I realize that I'm actually doing quite well. Sometimes I need to be reminded of this, and Britney Spears has chosen to be the one who reminds all of us really of how much better we are than her, that even for her million dollar homes and super catchy songs she too can walk around barefoot and get knocked up by a complete waste of a man. Good for her. She knows what she is and is going for it. That's quite commendable really.
Ok I have a ton of links today so here you go:
* Why is it so satisfying to kill video game bosses? via boingboing
* Ever ate a piece of meat and wondered where it came from? I haven't, but you might have and for you there is this.
* I didn't have to do a swim test to graduate, but I know other people who had to. I don't think its a bad idea to make sure everyone knows how to swim, but the few schools that still require it seem to think swimming is no longer the necessity it once was and are removing the requirement.
* My love for lifehacker is well documented. Now there's a blog with lifehacker like tips for college, which is useful and all except for the fact that I'm not in college anymore, but you might be so check it out.
* I personally think George W. Bush is the worst president in US History. Apparently historians agree with me. I love when that happens. Its not all bad news though, his suckage at running the country is apparently pushing more people towards activism.
* So more young men are suffering from erectile disfunction and its being blamed on by young women being more opinionated and initiating sex more often. Yea. I can't say it any better than Amal Amireh, so here you go:
* Another study are proving that girls are better than boys.
* Umm this is old news, but its new to me. Or maybe I wrote about it last year? Who has time to go through the archives? Not me. Besides which anal sex, totally one of those things you can never tire of talking about.
Ok I have a ton of links today so here you go:
* Why is it so satisfying to kill video game bosses? via boingboing
* Ever ate a piece of meat and wondered where it came from? I haven't, but you might have and for you there is this.
* I didn't have to do a swim test to graduate, but I know other people who had to. I don't think its a bad idea to make sure everyone knows how to swim, but the few schools that still require it seem to think swimming is no longer the necessity it once was and are removing the requirement.
* My love for lifehacker is well documented. Now there's a blog with lifehacker like tips for college, which is useful and all except for the fact that I'm not in college anymore, but you might be so check it out.
* I personally think George W. Bush is the worst president in US History. Apparently historians agree with me. I love when that happens. Its not all bad news though, his suckage at running the country is apparently pushing more people towards activism.
* So more young men are suffering from erectile disfunction and its being blamed on by young women being more opinionated and initiating sex more often. Yea. I can't say it any better than Amal Amireh, so here you go:
If a man needs a helpless damsel, an unwilling partner (otherwise known as rape victim) or a virgin to get it up, then it is better for humanity that he doesn't.amen. read about it here.
* Another study are proving that girls are better than boys.
* Umm this is old news, but its new to me. Or maybe I wrote about it last year? Who has time to go through the archives? Not me. Besides which anal sex, totally one of those things you can never tire of talking about.
mayo 08, 2006
Atrevete, te, te, te*
So last Friday I went out to a club and the evening was odd. Partially odd because someone was drugged (minus the all too important consent). Odder still because I was bored out of my mind. Here was someone completely fucked up, acting like a total idiot, humping a staircase at one point, and I didnt even notice something abnormal was happening. I was too busy trying to calculate how many amaretto sours I could drink while still being sober enough to drive home and go to sleep. I've noticed that it really depends on the bartender and how strong he makes my drinks. This particular bartender maybe wanted to get me drunk. Possibly. He failed though, and I managed to get home just fine. Unlike you know other people who spent the night in jail.
But yea. I was bored. I was also pissed and drinking more than I should, but it didn't really negate the fact that I was bored. Yes, there were slutty girls wearing gold bikini tops and gyrating strangely which normally would have amused me as I tried to decipher if she was a law student or a stripper or some combination of the two. Yes, there was a guy who I'd talked to the weekend prior for the entire night who suddenly was acting like he'd never met me just because his exgirlfriend was around. Yea, I danced to some cumbia and got super dizzy from all the spinning.
I was still bored. Which is a bad sign since I have to keep myself entertained until I get a job. If not I'll go crazy. Or something like crazy. I'm hoping it was simply a matter of me not really being in the mood to go out and not that after a few weeks I'm already bored of clubs and drinking. Well I'm bored of clubs I could never be bored of drinking. That's like being bored of air. You cant be bored of air just because it doesn't smell right one day, its a vital part of life. Or you know something.
and that's that. The title comes from Calle 13's Atrevete, which has wormed its way into my brain and wont let go. Possibly because its about this intellectual girl who loves pop-rock latino but cant help but like reggaton and is really a callejera, a street fighter. Its totally about me.
And now the links:
* Are your digital pictures of your drunken friends and your stupid exploits looking dull and tired? Well now there's help via lifehacker.
* Edmunds tested all those gas saving tips to figure out which ones work and which ones dont. via lifehacker.
* Secrets are big currently. I don't think I'd tell my secrets to a bunch of strangers, but then again they don't know me so why does it matter? Its a toss up.
* Jeremy Priven is a new film about the quest for a super sweet bar mitzvah. I totally want a bar mitzvah. Maybe when I turn 25 and I actually feel like a grown up. But then maybe I'll be too cool for a bar mitzvah. But then can you ever be too cool for a super sweet bar mitzvah? I think not.
* Being single is the new normal. I guess my singledom made it cool again.
ps: Happy Birthday Mr. Patterson! just for you here's a picture of a beautiful black renaissance man.
But yea. I was bored. I was also pissed and drinking more than I should, but it didn't really negate the fact that I was bored. Yes, there were slutty girls wearing gold bikini tops and gyrating strangely which normally would have amused me as I tried to decipher if she was a law student or a stripper or some combination of the two. Yes, there was a guy who I'd talked to the weekend prior for the entire night who suddenly was acting like he'd never met me just because his exgirlfriend was around. Yea, I danced to some cumbia and got super dizzy from all the spinning.
I was still bored. Which is a bad sign since I have to keep myself entertained until I get a job. If not I'll go crazy. Or something like crazy. I'm hoping it was simply a matter of me not really being in the mood to go out and not that after a few weeks I'm already bored of clubs and drinking. Well I'm bored of clubs I could never be bored of drinking. That's like being bored of air. You cant be bored of air just because it doesn't smell right one day, its a vital part of life. Or you know something.
and that's that. The title comes from Calle 13's Atrevete, which has wormed its way into my brain and wont let go. Possibly because its about this intellectual girl who loves pop-rock latino but cant help but like reggaton and is really a callejera, a street fighter. Its totally about me.
And now the links:
* Are your digital pictures of your drunken friends and your stupid exploits looking dull and tired? Well now there's help via lifehacker.
* Edmunds tested all those gas saving tips to figure out which ones work and which ones dont. via lifehacker.
* Secrets are big currently. I don't think I'd tell my secrets to a bunch of strangers, but then again they don't know me so why does it matter? Its a toss up.
* Jeremy Priven is a new film about the quest for a super sweet bar mitzvah. I totally want a bar mitzvah. Maybe when I turn 25 and I actually feel like a grown up. But then maybe I'll be too cool for a bar mitzvah. But then can you ever be too cool for a super sweet bar mitzvah? I think not.
* Being single is the new normal. I guess my singledom made it cool again.
ps: Happy Birthday Mr. Patterson! just for you here's a picture of a beautiful black renaissance man.
mayo 06, 2006
a music letter
Why are spring and summer the seasons for breakups? Every where I go everyone I meet is just reeling from a fresh breakup. A lot of this could do with the places where I'm hanging out. Bars and clubs don't really bring in a lot of happy couples. They bring in single people who want to drink and kill whatever it is that's making them unhappy. Well maybe that's harsh, some might actually just like clubs and the random possibilities of interacting with strangers. I've never been one for strangers though. I like the friends I have. I've had them for years. There's history there. A pattern of known behavior. I can better predict what I can and cannot expect from them. These are things I need in other to feel like I'm up for whatever or whomever or whathaveyou. Strangers bring in an entire sense of the unknown that makes me uncomfortable. What's their motivation? Why are they talking to me? Or not talking to me?
I over think these things entirely too much. That's for sure. Not all strangers are bad. I've had more than my fair share of fabulous life changing conversations with people whose names I don't even know. I just always prefer knowing to the unknown.
There are times however when I wish I knew less. That I wasn't having the same conversation over and over again. That there wasn't a predicted pattern of behavior that I know ends up with my being disappointed, and hurt, and angry and drinking on a Wednesday night and a Friday night and a Saturday night. Not like my liver cant handle it, because it can I have an insane tolerance for such a tiny frame. The drinking just dulls the ache for a few hours until I wake up and I'm sober and wish that there was something more substantial.
There isn't though. But for now, it'll have to do.
I over think these things entirely too much. That's for sure. Not all strangers are bad. I've had more than my fair share of fabulous life changing conversations with people whose names I don't even know. I just always prefer knowing to the unknown.
There are times however when I wish I knew less. That I wasn't having the same conversation over and over again. That there wasn't a predicted pattern of behavior that I know ends up with my being disappointed, and hurt, and angry and drinking on a Wednesday night and a Friday night and a Saturday night. Not like my liver cant handle it, because it can I have an insane tolerance for such a tiny frame. The drinking just dulls the ache for a few hours until I wake up and I'm sober and wish that there was something more substantial.
There isn't though. But for now, it'll have to do.
mayo 05, 2006
Its cinco de mayo!
To go out or not go out that is the question. Part of me feels like I should stay home and sleep since I've been uber tired this entire week. The other part of me feels like its cinco de mayo! Only happens once a year, you need to go out. Even if you know your not mexican, and you really have no ill feelings towards the french and really just kinda want a margarita.
Its an epic battle.
I like how this is the stuff that passes for epic battles these days. And thats all I got. I'll let you know if I did end up going out and leave you with some links to keep you company:
* The cuteness is overwhelming in this video of a tiny little kitten with a heavy head. It makes me want to get a kitten and just eat it up.
* This video clip is reason #112 why Madeleine Albright is my favorite former Secretary of State. Cause I'm a dork and I have favorites about things like that.
* Sex advice from triatheletes. Its more educational than funny this week.
* Other people out there in the world are also pleased with Kaavya Viswanathan's big fat failure. For reasons beyond you know just being mean. Like you know what I was doing.
* An article about how hard it is to be a secret blogger with all the fame and what not.
* A condom pot. Shaped like a condom. So very zen. via apartmenttherapy
* Speaking of sperm, it seems that men are becoming less fertile leading to less women getting knocked up. Which is good news when those women are teenagers. And umm bad news for humanity.
Its an epic battle.
I like how this is the stuff that passes for epic battles these days. And thats all I got. I'll let you know if I did end up going out and leave you with some links to keep you company:
* The cuteness is overwhelming in this video of a tiny little kitten with a heavy head. It makes me want to get a kitten and just eat it up.
* This video clip is reason #112 why Madeleine Albright is my favorite former Secretary of State. Cause I'm a dork and I have favorites about things like that.
* Sex advice from triatheletes. Its more educational than funny this week.
* Other people out there in the world are also pleased with Kaavya Viswanathan's big fat failure. For reasons beyond you know just being mean. Like you know what I was doing.
* An article about how hard it is to be a secret blogger with all the fame and what not.
* A condom pot. Shaped like a condom. So very zen. via apartmenttherapy
* Speaking of sperm, it seems that men are becoming less fertile leading to less women getting knocked up. Which is good news when those women are teenagers. And umm bad news for humanity.
mayo 04, 2006
Mullets, faux mohawks, and fros oh my!
I was in an alternate hipster universe last night. Imagine that urban outfitters and misshapes spawned some children and let them lose on a Wednesday night to dance to surprisingly good music and drink and you'd have an idea of what we're talking about here. It was so impossibly wonderfully bizarre that I loved it. When I walked in I was like where did all these people come from? and where have they been hiding? There was a beautiful black man with a poodle like fro who danced sporadically like he was only capable of moving his legs and shaking his hair. A tragically blond white woman who could not dance to save her life, she failed her limbs about in her denim mini like this was the best most intense seizure known to man. My absolute favorite though was the beautiful tall thin gay white man who was wearing a red tank, stripped blue shirt, topped with a tiny little vest. He was adorable and I watched him the entire night, as he danced and danced to who knows what they were playing.
The club was also impossibly cool. So cool in fact that we wandered around for blocks trying to find it. Only to run into a bartender from the bar, who showed us where it was. Since there's no sign out front we had walked right past it and had no clue there was even a bar there. There was only a white door with three doormen standing outside. So obviously if you don't recognize it then you must not be cool enough to get in. Strangely enough though I didn't feel out of place there, not because I think I've magically become a hipster, but because the place was random enough that anyone could really go in and have a good time. The music was really good. It was impossibly good. Even I who would much rather sit and people watch couldn't help to dance just a little bit.
We were supposed to go to a gay club though, which is why I'd agreed to go out on a Wednesday night. I even bought a super cute tiny blue poka doted skirt my excitement for it was so high (my mom called it a culifalda which made me love it even more- my dad's face when my mom made me show it to him was also impossibly classic). It was very in the navy which I felt was fitting. Sadly though the club was booked up for a private party and we had to find another place to go to- so my poka doted skirt had to wait for another night to go out. All was fine though, I exchanged one tiny skirt for another and all was good in the world.
And now some links:
* Its very hard to tell baby toys from sex toys. Don't believe me? Take this test. via nerve scanner (of course)
* I don't think there is anyone more qualified to give sex advice than Heidi Fleiss. Apparently Maxim read my mind.
* More evidence of the horrible puffing screening machine I was placed in. Gentle puffs of air my ass.
The club was also impossibly cool. So cool in fact that we wandered around for blocks trying to find it. Only to run into a bartender from the bar, who showed us where it was. Since there's no sign out front we had walked right past it and had no clue there was even a bar there. There was only a white door with three doormen standing outside. So obviously if you don't recognize it then you must not be cool enough to get in. Strangely enough though I didn't feel out of place there, not because I think I've magically become a hipster, but because the place was random enough that anyone could really go in and have a good time. The music was really good. It was impossibly good. Even I who would much rather sit and people watch couldn't help to dance just a little bit.
We were supposed to go to a gay club though, which is why I'd agreed to go out on a Wednesday night. I even bought a super cute tiny blue poka doted skirt my excitement for it was so high (my mom called it a culifalda which made me love it even more- my dad's face when my mom made me show it to him was also impossibly classic). It was very in the navy which I felt was fitting. Sadly though the club was booked up for a private party and we had to find another place to go to- so my poka doted skirt had to wait for another night to go out. All was fine though, I exchanged one tiny skirt for another and all was good in the world.
And now some links:
* Its very hard to tell baby toys from sex toys. Don't believe me? Take this test. via nerve scanner (of course)
* I don't think there is anyone more qualified to give sex advice than Heidi Fleiss. Apparently Maxim read my mind.
* More evidence of the horrible puffing screening machine I was placed in. Gentle puffs of air my ass.
mayo 02, 2006
no words
I have no idea why this hasn't made the national news. I know its on AP and that some national papers like the Washington post have run the story, but for the life of me I cant comprehend why a story of 16 yr old boy being brutally beaten, sodamized by having a pipe kicked into him, carved with a knife, burned with cigarettes, and then doused with bleach simply for trying to kiss a 12 yr old girl and being Mexican (as the two skinheads beat him they shouted racial slurs at him) doesn't make the front page of CNN or the New York Times, but stories about Brooke Shields commenting on Tom Cruise's baby and Paris Hilton breaking up with her boyfriend get top billing! I couldn't even find the story on either CNN or the NYTimes. What scares me is that awful horrible things like this happen all over the US all the time, to the point that its not newsworthy when it occurs. If I didn't live in Houston, and didn't obsessively watch the local news I wouldn't have heard about it.
He lay in the backyard unconscious for hours (at first I heard 12 then 6) without anyone coming to his aid. Why isn't this national news?
You want to know what makes me impossibly sick about this whole thing? This case isn't being charged as a hate crime because prosecutors say it wont affect their sentence. If this isn't a hate crime what is? At the very least this is Texas and both assailants will be charged as adults (they're 18 and 17), which means that since both have criminal records they aren't going to be given probation or community service or whatever bullshit is handed out in other states for minors.
Yea. I don't know what else to say about it.
Now some much lighter links as an attempt to balance the impossible horrible sadness of this post:
* The absolute cutest shirt ever!
* So this is impossibly funny a group of ultra-orthodox hackers are replacing the porn on some Israeli porn sites with a picture of a Rabbi Lubavitch and following message: "the holy kabbalah warns that the sin of spilling sperm in vain is the cause for most diseases and misfortune!" via nerve (of course where else can you find such random hilarity?).
* So when I was flying back to Texas they stuck me into an air machine thing, remember? Well apparently I'm not the only one who's been stuck in this thing because they scream terrorist.
* Yet another funny clip from the Daily Show, this one is a bit about Bush and a warning to nuns.
* Stephen Colbert is on a role this week with his gig of hosting the white house press corp thingie. Here's a clip of excerpts of that and over here is a clip of him interviewing Phil Gingrey, a Republican congressman from Georgia.
* The entire time I was reading "Memento Moris: When gifts come back to haunt you" by David Sedaris in the New Yorker I was thinking that I hope one day to write this well. It was so impossibly funny that I imed it halfway through finishing it to a bunch of people, something I never do because I just had to share it right away. Now go read it and enjoy. via kottle.
* A disturbing video of Mexican police shooting at striking miners. via boingboing.
* A nice round up of a variety of opinion about yesterday's protest/boycott from global voices which posts roundup of blogs from around the globe. A bunch of countries are listed, you should check it out.
* As you know when I first heard about Kaavya Viswanathan I was relieved and a wee bit smug since well I'm a bad person. Now however as new similarities between her book and yet another book are being discovered this whole situation has just become sad. Partially because if its true that there was even more plagiarism (I heard an estimate of 49 similar passages) occurred, then that in itself is just sad that she doubted her own ability as a writer to the point where she felt the need to steal from other writers. Part of me though (the tiny little part of me that is you know not evil) wants to defend this girl, because maybe she really didn't maliciously use other writer's work and pass it off as her own, maybe there are just no original ideas left. How many books have been published? How many have similar themes, ideas, situations, characters? Its overwhelming to think about as someone who sits around and writes stories. So overwhelming in fact that at times it makes me want to not write anything ever. And yet some how I still do.
He lay in the backyard unconscious for hours (at first I heard 12 then 6) without anyone coming to his aid. Why isn't this national news?
You want to know what makes me impossibly sick about this whole thing? This case isn't being charged as a hate crime because prosecutors say it wont affect their sentence. If this isn't a hate crime what is? At the very least this is Texas and both assailants will be charged as adults (they're 18 and 17), which means that since both have criminal records they aren't going to be given probation or community service or whatever bullshit is handed out in other states for minors.
Yea. I don't know what else to say about it.
Now some much lighter links as an attempt to balance the impossible horrible sadness of this post:
* The absolute cutest shirt ever!
* So this is impossibly funny a group of ultra-orthodox hackers are replacing the porn on some Israeli porn sites with a picture of a Rabbi Lubavitch and following message: "the holy kabbalah warns that the sin of spilling sperm in vain is the cause for most diseases and misfortune!" via nerve (of course where else can you find such random hilarity?).
* So when I was flying back to Texas they stuck me into an air machine thing, remember? Well apparently I'm not the only one who's been stuck in this thing because they scream terrorist.
* Yet another funny clip from the Daily Show, this one is a bit about Bush and a warning to nuns.
* Stephen Colbert is on a role this week with his gig of hosting the white house press corp thingie. Here's a clip of excerpts of that and over here is a clip of him interviewing Phil Gingrey, a Republican congressman from Georgia.
* The entire time I was reading "Memento Moris: When gifts come back to haunt you" by David Sedaris in the New Yorker I was thinking that I hope one day to write this well. It was so impossibly funny that I imed it halfway through finishing it to a bunch of people, something I never do because I just had to share it right away. Now go read it and enjoy. via kottle.
* A disturbing video of Mexican police shooting at striking miners. via boingboing.
* A nice round up of a variety of opinion about yesterday's protest/boycott from global voices which posts roundup of blogs from around the globe. A bunch of countries are listed, you should check it out.
* As you know when I first heard about Kaavya Viswanathan I was relieved and a wee bit smug since well I'm a bad person. Now however as new similarities between her book and yet another book are being discovered this whole situation has just become sad. Partially because if its true that there was even more plagiarism (I heard an estimate of 49 similar passages) occurred, then that in itself is just sad that she doubted her own ability as a writer to the point where she felt the need to steal from other writers. Part of me though (the tiny little part of me that is you know not evil) wants to defend this girl, because maybe she really didn't maliciously use other writer's work and pass it off as her own, maybe there are just no original ideas left. How many books have been published? How many have similar themes, ideas, situations, characters? Its overwhelming to think about as someone who sits around and writes stories. So overwhelming in fact that at times it makes me want to not write anything ever. And yet some how I still do.
abril 30, 2006
An open letter to crazy b*tches who think I'm out to steal their man when in reality I have no interest in their man and only want delicious pancakes
About 70% of my friends are male. Before I went to college though it was closer to 98%, so I consider 70% to be a vast improvement. Not that I don't love having male friends, in fact I prefer it since there's a lot less drama, and at any moment they can stand in as my faux-boyfriend, kinda like having a gay boyfriend, minus the gay. The only real problem with this is that they date women. Women who hate me. Universally. None of their girlfriends have ever liked me. Some stand me which is a lot like hate, but without any of the effort involved in hating someone. This has been going on for enough time though that I'm pretty immune to the whole thing. I just assume that they don't like me and then move on with my life, because sadly I always outlast them so really at this stage of my life they're only temporary disturbances. Last night though I was reminded of how much of a disturbance it really is though to be universally hated. Even if it is temporary.
After a night of strawberry shots and fuzzy baby navels, we were all in the garage trying to determine which of us was fit to drive and who needed something to sober up and who should probably never be allowed to take shots again. All was good in the world. Until someone's ex-pulled up in her car. Maybe under the pretense of trying to figure out if we were going to go eat, but really to keep an eye on me and make sure I wasn't making out with her man. The entire night she'd been keeping an eye on me, but it was very low key spying as opposed to the full out let me get out of my car and stand right next to you to make sure y'all aren't about to make out while my angry friends stay in my car and stare you down. Now I have no idea what he said to her about me, like if he explained that he'd known me for a while or if he just said something equally genius like I have aids and this is my friend Jessica, but whatever he said it wasn't enough to get her to back down. This very nice woman, who I'm sure is normally a very sane human being was acting irrationally. And for no reason, because I had no interest in making out with her man. I had an interest in getting some pancakes in my belly and making sure he wasn't deported.
She wouldn't leave until she saw them get out of my car, into their own car, and watched me drive away. Alone. Without her man. We even bypassed the whole drunken hug goodbye process just so she wouldn't decide to get out of her car and knife me. Which is vaguely sweet, but mostly just crazy. This is why I've decided to create a form letter which I can just hand out to break it down for them, and let them know that I am not in fact trying to steal their man. I present to you my open letter to crazy ex and current girlfriends:
Dear __________:
Hi. We've never met, but my name is Jessica and I'm a good friend of ___________. We've known each other for _____ years and in that time spent the majority of our time together watching bad movies and skipping class. There may or may not have been a time when we made out, but it was _________________ and you know how it goes, we're much better as friends. Besides, right now I just came out of a long term relationship so I have no interest in your man, or any man for that matter. I'm not even interested in women, not even to experiment, but thanks for asking. So, you see you have absolutely no reason to believe that I would steal him away from you. That's just not my style.
Sincerely,
Jessica
After a night of strawberry shots and fuzzy baby navels, we were all in the garage trying to determine which of us was fit to drive and who needed something to sober up and who should probably never be allowed to take shots again. All was good in the world. Until someone's ex-pulled up in her car. Maybe under the pretense of trying to figure out if we were going to go eat, but really to keep an eye on me and make sure I wasn't making out with her man. The entire night she'd been keeping an eye on me, but it was very low key spying as opposed to the full out let me get out of my car and stand right next to you to make sure y'all aren't about to make out while my angry friends stay in my car and stare you down. Now I have no idea what he said to her about me, like if he explained that he'd known me for a while or if he just said something equally genius like I have aids and this is my friend Jessica, but whatever he said it wasn't enough to get her to back down. This very nice woman, who I'm sure is normally a very sane human being was acting irrationally. And for no reason, because I had no interest in making out with her man. I had an interest in getting some pancakes in my belly and making sure he wasn't deported.
She wouldn't leave until she saw them get out of my car, into their own car, and watched me drive away. Alone. Without her man. We even bypassed the whole drunken hug goodbye process just so she wouldn't decide to get out of her car and knife me. Which is vaguely sweet, but mostly just crazy. This is why I've decided to create a form letter which I can just hand out to break it down for them, and let them know that I am not in fact trying to steal their man. I present to you my open letter to crazy ex and current girlfriends:
Dear __________:
Hi. We've never met, but my name is Jessica and I'm a good friend of ___________. We've known each other for _____ years and in that time spent the majority of our time together watching bad movies and skipping class. There may or may not have been a time when we made out, but it was _________________ and you know how it goes, we're much better as friends. Besides, right now I just came out of a long term relationship so I have no interest in your man, or any man for that matter. I'm not even interested in women, not even to experiment, but thanks for asking. So, you see you have absolutely no reason to believe that I would steal him away from you. That's just not my style.
Sincerely,
Jessica
abril 27, 2006
como diablos
Lemon bars are so delicious. Tarty yet sweet. Pastry yet vaguely healthy since they're (in theory) made from lemons. AND since I'm not a big baker (I'm not into measuring things exactly and such) they're extra special since its not something I could make myself. When I probably could make them myself, but then there'd be stuff to clean and that's just no fun. Which is why lemon bars are something that I buy. Laziness. Its my reason for doing a lot of stuff. Especially at this point in my life. This point being year 2 of my twenties.
The twenties are a weird time. All of a sudden you're out of the prescribed go to school path and dumped into a choose your own adventure story, where any one of a billion possibilities could end up with you getting malaria and being audited by the IRS. I've noticed all of my friends deal with it differently, but that somethings seem like a pretty universal right of passage. And no I'm not talking about graduating and getting a job because umm some of us haven't quite done that yet. I'm talking about other more subtle things like getting a kitten or possibly a puppy. Some people skip the pet though and go for the baby, but I think the kitten/puppy route is the less committal route. Like the pseudo adulthood option. And even then the kitten option is much less of a commitment than the puppy, since the puppy you have to walk and stuff and the kitten, well you just have to feed it and it wont eat you in your sleep. Oh how I want a kitten. Its just the ten year or so commitment that I can't handle.
Which is pretty much my problem with everything lately. I don't want to commit to a job because I don't know how long I'm going to be in Houston. I don't want to commit to a place for the same reason. Every choice I make seems to narrow the path of options, which is good in a sense because I'm one of those people who stares at all 68 conditioner options at Target trying to figure out which one will make my hair the prettiest. Only to end up choosing the one that smells like coconuts. Because my hair makes me happier when it smells good. Or something. But then its bad because a month of so into it, I start to get sick of coconuts and wish that I'd gone with the mango option because then maybe my hair would behave.
Things never work out the way you think that they will. Which is why decision making is so complicated for me. I don't know if I'm going to get the awesome job that I just applied for in Boston (oh how I want this job). I have no control over it though. And even if I get it, it might not be all I want. I know it wont be because I have incompatible desires that always leave me wishing I was closer to someone, or at the beach, or out of the country, or learning to surf. Which is why I've stopped planning my life. I was never one of those people with 5 year plans. My plans have always been fuzzy and ill-conceived. "I'm going to apply to one college and if I don't get in then ummm I guess I'll backpack through Europe" Now though, its just a rough sketch. I'm going to get a job, wherever I get hired that makes me happy. And I'm going to write. And maybe just maybe if my life falls into some sort of order, I'll finally get a kitten.
And now you know some links:
* A very zen video of puppies chasing a kitten. The cuteness is almost overwhelming.
* A cardboard bed. That looks comfy.
* I feel like the proudest mama ever! Brent's in the newspaper! His band is awesome, if you get the chance you should watch them. Or you could go on sketchy myspace and umm listen to stuff, in between picking up 16 yr old girls.
* Vintage french pr photos. via kottle.
* When I first heard of a 19yr old Harvard student having her book published and getting a second book advance (unheard of for a first time writer) I was impossibly sick with jealousy and felt like a big old loser. But now, well lets just say I feel quite at peace with the whole thing. Because on the inside I'm a five. And like to eat erasers.
* A great website that helps men deal with abortion. I came across it here.
* Ok, I've been meaning to post this force a while, but it felt like too much of a downer to bring it up. Anyways Riley's argument is that women should exercise common sense to avoid being raped. On principle I agree with her argument. I never go out to bars/clubs by myself. I avoid dark back alleys. I make sure to look men in the face when I'm walking by myself(this deters would be rapists from thinking your an easy victim). At the same time though, its obnoxious to have to do these things to rarely, if ever, leave your guard down because as a woman, I have to be more vigilant. At the same time though life is unfair. I also rarely if ever have to buy my own drinks because there's always a guy to buy one for me. So there are pros and cons to being female. What bothers me most though is that this argument intrinsically blames the victims for not being "smart enough" to not get raped. Which is just bs. I don't care how slutty my outfit is, how short my skirt is, how blond and coconutty my hair is, rape is never okay. And the fault of that lies in the perpetrator, not the victim. If you want to read better counter arguments you can go here and here.
The twenties are a weird time. All of a sudden you're out of the prescribed go to school path and dumped into a choose your own adventure story, where any one of a billion possibilities could end up with you getting malaria and being audited by the IRS. I've noticed all of my friends deal with it differently, but that somethings seem like a pretty universal right of passage. And no I'm not talking about graduating and getting a job because umm some of us haven't quite done that yet. I'm talking about other more subtle things like getting a kitten or possibly a puppy. Some people skip the pet though and go for the baby, but I think the kitten/puppy route is the less committal route. Like the pseudo adulthood option. And even then the kitten option is much less of a commitment than the puppy, since the puppy you have to walk and stuff and the kitten, well you just have to feed it and it wont eat you in your sleep. Oh how I want a kitten. Its just the ten year or so commitment that I can't handle.
Which is pretty much my problem with everything lately. I don't want to commit to a job because I don't know how long I'm going to be in Houston. I don't want to commit to a place for the same reason. Every choice I make seems to narrow the path of options, which is good in a sense because I'm one of those people who stares at all 68 conditioner options at Target trying to figure out which one will make my hair the prettiest. Only to end up choosing the one that smells like coconuts. Because my hair makes me happier when it smells good. Or something. But then its bad because a month of so into it, I start to get sick of coconuts and wish that I'd gone with the mango option because then maybe my hair would behave.
Things never work out the way you think that they will. Which is why decision making is so complicated for me. I don't know if I'm going to get the awesome job that I just applied for in Boston (oh how I want this job). I have no control over it though. And even if I get it, it might not be all I want. I know it wont be because I have incompatible desires that always leave me wishing I was closer to someone, or at the beach, or out of the country, or learning to surf. Which is why I've stopped planning my life. I was never one of those people with 5 year plans. My plans have always been fuzzy and ill-conceived. "I'm going to apply to one college and if I don't get in then ummm I guess I'll backpack through Europe" Now though, its just a rough sketch. I'm going to get a job, wherever I get hired that makes me happy. And I'm going to write. And maybe just maybe if my life falls into some sort of order, I'll finally get a kitten.
And now you know some links:
* A very zen video of puppies chasing a kitten. The cuteness is almost overwhelming.
* A cardboard bed. That looks comfy.
* I feel like the proudest mama ever! Brent's in the newspaper! His band is awesome, if you get the chance you should watch them. Or you could go on sketchy myspace and umm listen to stuff, in between picking up 16 yr old girls.
* Vintage french pr photos. via kottle.
* When I first heard of a 19yr old Harvard student having her book published and getting a second book advance (unheard of for a first time writer) I was impossibly sick with jealousy and felt like a big old loser. But now, well lets just say I feel quite at peace with the whole thing. Because on the inside I'm a five. And like to eat erasers.
* A great website that helps men deal with abortion. I came across it here.
* Ok, I've been meaning to post this force a while, but it felt like too much of a downer to bring it up. Anyways Riley's argument is that women should exercise common sense to avoid being raped. On principle I agree with her argument. I never go out to bars/clubs by myself. I avoid dark back alleys. I make sure to look men in the face when I'm walking by myself(this deters would be rapists from thinking your an easy victim). At the same time though, its obnoxious to have to do these things to rarely, if ever, leave your guard down because as a woman, I have to be more vigilant. At the same time though life is unfair. I also rarely if ever have to buy my own drinks because there's always a guy to buy one for me. So there are pros and cons to being female. What bothers me most though is that this argument intrinsically blames the victims for not being "smart enough" to not get raped. Which is just bs. I don't care how slutty my outfit is, how short my skirt is, how blond and coconutty my hair is, rape is never okay. And the fault of that lies in the perpetrator, not the victim. If you want to read better counter arguments you can go here and here.
abril 25, 2006
Lady balls
Tucker Carlson is an idiot. Obviously. His name is Tucker. He wears a bow tie. He looks like his mommy is the only woman he's ever known. All those things though pale in comparison to the stupidity that comes out of his mouth in this clip. There's so much wrong with it. So much. Since I'm feeling lazy I'll just say this: don't judge people mr. bow tie, its not nice. I'm going to go out on a limb and say you never had to struggle financially to get an education, juggling raising children with going to classes all the while having to work a degrading job just to get by. No one want to grow up to be a stripper. That's not a childhood ambition. But just because its a less than desirable job doesn't mean that it makes someone less than a person for just doing what you have to do to get by. The end. Shortest rant ever. (if your so inclined broadsheet does a better job of ranting about this than I do).
Ok and now a bunch of links that I have carefully culled for you:
* Its seems like you can't be fired for reading my blog at work. congrats.
* Sheep as walking billboards. Adorable and good for the sheep. Its jes approved.
* Netflix envelopes. Through the years.
* Cool pictures of nyc in the past before they cleaned it up.
* How to move to a new apartment. Good logical stuff.
* "Do You Need A $500 Vibrator? Short answer: Of course you do. Longer answer: Wait, a what? Are you serious? Where?"
* The look book. I don't want to ruin it. Just click through look at the picture. You can thank me later.
* Gas prices, they suck. I knew they sucked previously, but now I have to drive to get everywhere again I feel it much more than umm previously. Anyways here are three little charts to point you towards the right direction in terms of who you should be mad at.
* A good post which breaks down why renting out wombs in India is a bad idea and should make those of us in the West just feel bad.
* The future of eroding abortion rights in the US. In handy chart form for those of you who think reading is so last year.
* I want to be Wes Anderson when I grow up. Minus the being male and white part. This commercial with him for american express demonstrates why.
* A list of sciency things people who graduated from high school should know, but that most people (ie me) don't.
* A cute collection of comics. You have to click on the things in the picture to get to the clips. A little work but its worth it if you like funny, sweet, dark things like I do.
* And finally do you remember "My Girl" it wasn't life altering for me, but other people loooove it. Anyways the cute girl in the film can write, and its funny and good and you should read it. The end.
** the links came from my internet wanderings. Places like kottle, feministing, and my random friends.
Ok and now a bunch of links that I have carefully culled for you:
* Its seems like you can't be fired for reading my blog at work. congrats.
* Sheep as walking billboards. Adorable and good for the sheep. Its jes approved.
* Netflix envelopes. Through the years.
* Cool pictures of nyc in the past before they cleaned it up.
* How to move to a new apartment. Good logical stuff.
* "Do You Need A $500 Vibrator? Short answer: Of course you do. Longer answer: Wait, a what? Are you serious? Where?"
* The look book. I don't want to ruin it. Just click through look at the picture. You can thank me later.
* Gas prices, they suck. I knew they sucked previously, but now I have to drive to get everywhere again I feel it much more than umm previously. Anyways here are three little charts to point you towards the right direction in terms of who you should be mad at.
* A good post which breaks down why renting out wombs in India is a bad idea and should make those of us in the West just feel bad.
* The future of eroding abortion rights in the US. In handy chart form for those of you who think reading is so last year.
* I want to be Wes Anderson when I grow up. Minus the being male and white part. This commercial with him for american express demonstrates why.
* A list of sciency things people who graduated from high school should know, but that most people (ie me) don't.
* A cute collection of comics. You have to click on the things in the picture to get to the clips. A little work but its worth it if you like funny, sweet, dark things like I do.
* And finally do you remember "My Girl" it wasn't life altering for me, but other people loooove it. Anyways the cute girl in the film can write, and its funny and good and you should read it. The end.
** the links came from my internet wanderings. Places like kottle, feministing, and my random friends.
abril 23, 2006
why soccer is the best sport ever
I'm not into sports. I have no teams that I follow religiously. When there's a game of any sort on tv I always get bored at some point and switch it to the food network to listen to Paula Deen deep fry something or another in a vat of butter. However when my daddy invited me to a soccer game I knew I had to go because one its my daddy and two its soccer. Soccer is the best sport ever, for about a million reasons. First I actually played the sport when I was teeny tiny and was pretty good at it (mostly because I was a bit ol'cheater, I'd trip people, elbow them, kick them and get away with it because I was the only girl on the team). Most importantly though soccer is a fast game, so I can't possibly get bored. Oh and when people score it actually means something. Its not like basketball or baseball where there are a ton of points. One goal and the entire game could be lost, and you never know when a goal is going to happen or not. There's a lot of delayed satisfaction going on, so that when a goal is scored its orgasmic.
So yea on its own, soccer is a highly entertaining sport. In a stadium filled with 16 thousand people its a billion times more entertaining. What's interesting about watching the game in Houston is that there are two very different demographics at the game. Upper middle class white folk going to the game with their obnoxious soccer loving children and drunk as hell Latino, British, and Indian men. So there's a little tension in the audience. Which makes for some great people watching. Sitting a couple of rows in front of me were three impossibly sauced gentlemen who were waving Mexican flags. Now these were two American soccer teams playing against each other, so I'm sure there were many in the audience who were wondering what exactly a Mexican flag had to do with the game. I'm pretty sure its just a cultural thing, just like its a cultural thing to affix those insipid support our troops magnets to your suv, but at least waving your Mexican flag doesn't end up with us invading some country in the middle east. But yea, these lovely men kept waving their flags and then someone (ie the white dad sitting a row behind them whose little girl kept being hit in the face by the flags) complained to the police. And then they kicked them out of the section. And the thing is they had great seats. They were right at the front almost directly in the middle of the field. So when they left they were pissed. And proceeded to curse loudly at the guy who had them kicked out, a beautiful string of words that involved the guys mother and his wife and hell. Since it all took place in Spanish though, the family just sat there bewildered wondering what was going on.
That was the first half. In the second half was when things got really interesting. The little toddler next to me was getting restless and I had to use all of my willpower not utter my own set of expletives at the poor child who kept using her head as a battering ram against my arm. Fortunately for me in the second half in the game two goals were scored and I spent most of my time on my feet yelling for them to score. That's the great thing about being in a large audience. All kinds of social transgressions suddenly become acceptable. Like being drunk at 5pm. Or cursing out complete strangers. Or chanting "culeros" with your closest equally intoxicated friends. This particular chant made me and my mom giggle in the most inappropriate way since the white folks around us had no idea what was going on, but chanted along anyways.
The absolute best part of the game though were the soccer players, who were perfect human specimens. Out of all athletes I would say soccer players have the very best bodies. They aren't freakishly tall and slender like swimmers. Or short and hugely built like wrestler. Soccer players are perfectly proportioned, not too tall, not too short. And they have stamina. Lots and lots of stamina, because this isn't American football where the game is stopped every 5 minutes. They have to sprint around for a full 30 or 40 minutes without stop. So yea stamina. Hot. Oh and their very bend-y, since they kick the ball from all sorts of weird positions. Besides that though you can play soccer well into your late 30s, unlike some other sports where you have to retire when you get to 20, which means that there are quite a few who have beautiful silvery hair, which I love.
So yea. Soccer is the very best sport ever. The end.
So yea on its own, soccer is a highly entertaining sport. In a stadium filled with 16 thousand people its a billion times more entertaining. What's interesting about watching the game in Houston is that there are two very different demographics at the game. Upper middle class white folk going to the game with their obnoxious soccer loving children and drunk as hell Latino, British, and Indian men. So there's a little tension in the audience. Which makes for some great people watching. Sitting a couple of rows in front of me were three impossibly sauced gentlemen who were waving Mexican flags. Now these were two American soccer teams playing against each other, so I'm sure there were many in the audience who were wondering what exactly a Mexican flag had to do with the game. I'm pretty sure its just a cultural thing, just like its a cultural thing to affix those insipid support our troops magnets to your suv, but at least waving your Mexican flag doesn't end up with us invading some country in the middle east. But yea, these lovely men kept waving their flags and then someone (ie the white dad sitting a row behind them whose little girl kept being hit in the face by the flags) complained to the police. And then they kicked them out of the section. And the thing is they had great seats. They were right at the front almost directly in the middle of the field. So when they left they were pissed. And proceeded to curse loudly at the guy who had them kicked out, a beautiful string of words that involved the guys mother and his wife and hell. Since it all took place in Spanish though, the family just sat there bewildered wondering what was going on.
That was the first half. In the second half was when things got really interesting. The little toddler next to me was getting restless and I had to use all of my willpower not utter my own set of expletives at the poor child who kept using her head as a battering ram against my arm. Fortunately for me in the second half in the game two goals were scored and I spent most of my time on my feet yelling for them to score. That's the great thing about being in a large audience. All kinds of social transgressions suddenly become acceptable. Like being drunk at 5pm. Or cursing out complete strangers. Or chanting "culeros" with your closest equally intoxicated friends. This particular chant made me and my mom giggle in the most inappropriate way since the white folks around us had no idea what was going on, but chanted along anyways.
The absolute best part of the game though were the soccer players, who were perfect human specimens. Out of all athletes I would say soccer players have the very best bodies. They aren't freakishly tall and slender like swimmers. Or short and hugely built like wrestler. Soccer players are perfectly proportioned, not too tall, not too short. And they have stamina. Lots and lots of stamina, because this isn't American football where the game is stopped every 5 minutes. They have to sprint around for a full 30 or 40 minutes without stop. So yea stamina. Hot. Oh and their very bend-y, since they kick the ball from all sorts of weird positions. Besides that though you can play soccer well into your late 30s, unlike some other sports where you have to retire when you get to 20, which means that there are quite a few who have beautiful silvery hair, which I love.
So yea. Soccer is the very best sport ever. The end.
abril 22, 2006
That last shot was what did him in
Last night began innocently enough. I was going downtown to meet friends at a bar, that looked nice and non-sketchy. It somehow ended up 4 hours later with me watching one of my dear friends being handcuffed and strip searched outside of Chachos, my very favorite quasi-mexican 24 hr restaurant. Now this was troubling for several reasons. One the image of my friend spread eagle with his pants around this legs as about five sheriffs hovered around him tarnishes some of my good feelings towards Chachos, which is awful because their tortillas are incredible (so doughy, so sweet, the perfect thickness, always fresh...yum). Two I thought he was going to be deported for being a general drunken fool. And three we went there to get him sobered up so he could drive home, so I felt bad for bringing him to the place where he would ultimately be arrested. Thankfully though they let him go (I'm still not sure why) and I drove him to another friends house so they could get his car and what not. The funniest part was when I called my mom around 4ish to let her know what was going on, and I made the mistake of starting by talking about how my friend had been arrested but then quickly realized that I was giving her a heart attack for no reason when I should have started by saying that I was perfectly fine, safe, sober, and was not being arrested.
Now this whole incident wasn't as shocking as it could have been if lets say I was the one who was being arrested, since this particular nameless friend always acts like an idiot when hes drunk. He's one of those merry drunks who gets really mad really quickly over really trivial things that just kind of balloon out of control. Like that time he almost got us killed when were at the beach when he decided he was going to talk some shit to some cholos just because they flashed their lights at us. Normally someone keeps him in check and the night goes on with minimal damage. This time however things happened so quickly that there was no one who could stop things from going the way they did. I went inside to get some water and wait for them, came back outside to call and find out where they were only to discover him in handcuffs.
But yea, it was a good night. A memorable night. Some impossibly intoxicated guy kept calling me mama. I realized pretty quickly that he called all women mama, which for some reason made it acceptable and not justification to get maced. And what else? Oh the women at the bar were really interesting. It was a very eastern European vibe which I liked, but once again I had one of those moments were I realized how much moho changed me, since when I watched them dancing on the stage with one another it was pretty transparent that they were only doing it to get attention from the men there, and for some reason that seemed so bizarre to me. Not like I've never gotten on a bar and danced, but it was always when I was out with a large pack of my female friends, and only then to make one another laugh and goof around. Not so a guy would want to come up and talk to me. But to each his own I guess.
Now this whole incident wasn't as shocking as it could have been if lets say I was the one who was being arrested, since this particular nameless friend always acts like an idiot when hes drunk. He's one of those merry drunks who gets really mad really quickly over really trivial things that just kind of balloon out of control. Like that time he almost got us killed when were at the beach when he decided he was going to talk some shit to some cholos just because they flashed their lights at us. Normally someone keeps him in check and the night goes on with minimal damage. This time however things happened so quickly that there was no one who could stop things from going the way they did. I went inside to get some water and wait for them, came back outside to call and find out where they were only to discover him in handcuffs.
But yea, it was a good night. A memorable night. Some impossibly intoxicated guy kept calling me mama. I realized pretty quickly that he called all women mama, which for some reason made it acceptable and not justification to get maced. And what else? Oh the women at the bar were really interesting. It was a very eastern European vibe which I liked, but once again I had one of those moments were I realized how much moho changed me, since when I watched them dancing on the stage with one another it was pretty transparent that they were only doing it to get attention from the men there, and for some reason that seemed so bizarre to me. Not like I've never gotten on a bar and danced, but it was always when I was out with a large pack of my female friends, and only then to make one another laugh and goof around. Not so a guy would want to come up and talk to me. But to each his own I guess.
abril 19, 2006
Just give me a block and I'll be ok
Texas is lovely. The traffic however is not. Since I take my mom to work I'm in the car for 2 hours everyday (30 minutes there and back). Which is actually not bad for Houston, which is what's sick about this. And is one of the many reasons I can't live in Houston. Well that and the fact that if I got a job here I would have to move to the other side of town to have some space between me and my lovely folks. Because I'm weird like that.
I'm just not telling them that I wont be living in Houston permanently, because this news would give them much sadness. Specifically my daddy who was pretty much like "oh ok that didn't work but now you can live here, or in San Antonio or Austin or anywhere in Texas really." I didn't have the heart to tell him that I haven't applied to anything in Texas. Its not that I don't ever want to live in Texas, I do. I just don't want to live in Texas now. My reasoning goes that once I move to Texas it'll be permanent, you know with kids and such. Like I'll probably die in Texas. Unless I die on some weird trip through the Amazon or something, in which case I'll die there. Basically I'm not ready for settling in for death so I don't want to live in Texas. Yea, my logic is a thing of beauty.
This whole experience is really funny though. In an amusing painful sort of way. The whole fresh breakup and looking for a job at the same time thing has forced me to really figure what it is that gives me worth. Which is stupid because I have the most over inflated ego as it is, but I've noticed that this breakup has changed the way people relate to me. My parents are treating me with kid gloves, like I'm on suicide watch or something, and it only serves to bum me out not make me feel better about life. Like having my mom call me 3 times a day while she's at work and ask me if I'm ok only serves to reinforce the fact that if I'm not okay that's perfectly acceptable and they'll understand and that they need to know to help me. Meanwhile I'm wondering if there's something wrong with me for not spending my days munching on some hagen daz.
Its no wonder that instead I'm spending my days randomly emailing alums and asking if they like Mexico City. Or trying to figure out how I can get a job in Colombia or Venezuela, just so I don't have to deal with this whole let's pity jes thing. Of course I'm not telling my parents any of these plans because its just bad form to tell your immigrant parents who rearranged their entire lives so you could live in this country that you'd like to leave now. I know they'd be cool with it (well my dad would be my mom would throw a fit) but its just easier to avoid the conversation until things are settled.
And yea that's that. Here are some links I deemed amusing enough to share with you on this fine day:
* This map is pretty cool. It shows where major religion in the US are located. I think I saw it first on boing boing.
* Nothing takes place in a vacuum, everything takes place inside a social context. Flashing your breast in public is apparently no exception.
* Apparently breast are hot right now, with this study saying that women with fake breasts are more prone to suicide.
* This video is so bizarre so weird that you must watch it right now. Its a little long but sooo worth it. Its in Russian and Japanese using both old and new cartoon animation and is so beautifully odd. I finished watching it and my brain could not comprehend what had just happened.
* Ten things every microsoft word user should know via lifehacker
* I love abstinence posters and bears and pens because its always a guaranteed laugh. This poster, does not disappoint. If you dont click through it says that "Men appreciate things more when they have to work hard for them...so dont be easy!" and shows a woman in a wedding dress. Yea. So much wrong with this argument. Implied in it are goofy things like "men are pigs keep them at bay by keeping your legs shut" and "the purpose of sex is to trap men into marriage." Blah. Like women don't like sex. Or women dont need to be trapped into marriage. Or that there's something wrong with being easy. Anyways if you want to buy me the laminated version its 17 bucks. via feministing
* Okay. First off I found this here. Secondly you dont want to open this at work, or around people unless you want people to see you browse through a listing of rock stars and their penis sizes. Its up to you. I'm not really that much into rock (I grew out of my punk stage pretty quickly) so I just glanced through it. Its umm a good read if umm you're into that kind of thing.
I'm just not telling them that I wont be living in Houston permanently, because this news would give them much sadness. Specifically my daddy who was pretty much like "oh ok that didn't work but now you can live here, or in San Antonio or Austin or anywhere in Texas really." I didn't have the heart to tell him that I haven't applied to anything in Texas. Its not that I don't ever want to live in Texas, I do. I just don't want to live in Texas now. My reasoning goes that once I move to Texas it'll be permanent, you know with kids and such. Like I'll probably die in Texas. Unless I die on some weird trip through the Amazon or something, in which case I'll die there. Basically I'm not ready for settling in for death so I don't want to live in Texas. Yea, my logic is a thing of beauty.
This whole experience is really funny though. In an amusing painful sort of way. The whole fresh breakup and looking for a job at the same time thing has forced me to really figure what it is that gives me worth. Which is stupid because I have the most over inflated ego as it is, but I've noticed that this breakup has changed the way people relate to me. My parents are treating me with kid gloves, like I'm on suicide watch or something, and it only serves to bum me out not make me feel better about life. Like having my mom call me 3 times a day while she's at work and ask me if I'm ok only serves to reinforce the fact that if I'm not okay that's perfectly acceptable and they'll understand and that they need to know to help me. Meanwhile I'm wondering if there's something wrong with me for not spending my days munching on some hagen daz.
Its no wonder that instead I'm spending my days randomly emailing alums and asking if they like Mexico City. Or trying to figure out how I can get a job in Colombia or Venezuela, just so I don't have to deal with this whole let's pity jes thing. Of course I'm not telling my parents any of these plans because its just bad form to tell your immigrant parents who rearranged their entire lives so you could live in this country that you'd like to leave now. I know they'd be cool with it (well my dad would be my mom would throw a fit) but its just easier to avoid the conversation until things are settled.
And yea that's that. Here are some links I deemed amusing enough to share with you on this fine day:
* This map is pretty cool. It shows where major religion in the US are located. I think I saw it first on boing boing.
* Nothing takes place in a vacuum, everything takes place inside a social context. Flashing your breast in public is apparently no exception.
* Apparently breast are hot right now, with this study saying that women with fake breasts are more prone to suicide.
* This video is so bizarre so weird that you must watch it right now. Its a little long but sooo worth it. Its in Russian and Japanese using both old and new cartoon animation and is so beautifully odd. I finished watching it and my brain could not comprehend what had just happened.
* Ten things every microsoft word user should know via lifehacker
* I love abstinence posters and bears and pens because its always a guaranteed laugh. This poster, does not disappoint. If you dont click through it says that "Men appreciate things more when they have to work hard for them...so dont be easy!" and shows a woman in a wedding dress. Yea. So much wrong with this argument. Implied in it are goofy things like "men are pigs keep them at bay by keeping your legs shut" and "the purpose of sex is to trap men into marriage." Blah. Like women don't like sex. Or women dont need to be trapped into marriage. Or that there's something wrong with being easy. Anyways if you want to buy me the laminated version its 17 bucks. via feministing
* Okay. First off I found this here. Secondly you dont want to open this at work, or around people unless you want people to see you browse through a listing of rock stars and their penis sizes. Its up to you. I'm not really that much into rock (I grew out of my punk stage pretty quickly) so I just glanced through it. Its umm a good read if umm you're into that kind of thing.
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